Of the 3 people that read this blog, 1 of them told me they would like to see something Christmas themed. So 'tis the season. Here is my Top 10 Christmas Songs. Opinions are encouraged.
10. NKOTB 'FUNKY FUNKY CHRISTMAS'
'Its snowing outside, but we ho ho ho-ing' is an actual lyric in the song. With rhymes like that, I am shocked they didn't crossover into the hip hop market.
9. Bon Jovi 'Baby Please Come Home for Christmas'
First of all, who leaves Jon Bon Jovi??! Second of all, she is missing out on a chance for a 3some with Jovi and Sambora. I am pretty sure Sambora just brings his dual acoustic guitar, sits in the corner and just plays the instrumental to 'WANTED' as Jovi makes sweet sweet love to his woman while just wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. That's my Bon Jovi 3some fantasy.
8.U2 'Baby Please Come Home'
Ya I know its the same title, but U2 gives a big 'FUCK YOU' to Bon Jovi with this song. You don't mess with Bono because he will beat you down everytime. Thats why they are at #8 and Bon Jovi is at #9, staring up at Edge's balls. The song is a little more upbeat and I get the feeling Bono could care less if she came home, thats why the song is only 2:19 in length. Oh song's over already, she still isn't home. NEXT! He already has a chick under his tree waiting to be unwrapped.
7.Bruce Springsteed 'Santa Claus Is Coming to Town'
The Boss makes an early appearance on the countdown, but it won't be his last. Anytime you have a piano involved, I am hooked. I played this song on repeat when my parents bought the 'A Very Special Christmas' CD back in '87 or whenever it was. Bruce just threw his own stank on this song and nailed it. I will be playing this on repeat once again this Christmas, but this time I will be dancing with my nephew.
6.Boyz II Men 'Silent Night'
Light a candle. Light the tree. Grab some lube. Boyz II Men are about to take you into a whole other world. Maybe this song should be a little higher on my list because it is all acapella and I am a huge fan of the Sing Off on NBC, but I was not comfortable with that move. But seriously, you can't go wrong with these guys. You can be in the biggest fit of rage you have ever been in, in your entire life, and I swear if someone starts to play this song, you will immediately start hugging dudes, kissing babies and opening doors for old people. Very soothing. They should just pipe this song throughout every mall during this time of year, alot less grumpy shoppers. However I do think its bullshit they cut out the dude who sings bass. It's just not the same without him, kind of like when BSB cut out Kevin and his spanish looking mustache.
5. Mariah Carey 'All I Want for Christmas'
1994. 14 years old. My first boner.....I think. This song just crushes any other song she has every come out with......okay maybe not DreamLover because I love that video. I always wanted to be one of the black guys doing the 'tootsie roll' and dry humping the ground. I was a weird kid alright. Back to the Christmas song...as soon as you hear that Fisher Price piano playing, you automatically know what song it is and you automatically turn up the radio. I was a fan of the black and white video as opposed to the original video, but thats just me. I like a girl in boots. I know people would like this song higher, maybe at 1, but I make the rules here.
4. Band Aid 'Do they know its Christmas'
If I left this song off I don't deserve presents this Christmas. A song about hope, a song about peace, a song with Boy George and George Michael singing back to back verses. PURE GOLD. Give me 15-20 male artists in the 80s with the greatest collection of hair in one recording studio and you have a hit .....and probably alot of man juice on the microphones after....but still. Instead of giving the bell for the Salvation Army people to ring outside the mall, give them this song on a CD and a boombox. Yes, a boombox. A)Its not annoying where you want to punch the poor guy for ringing the bell over and over and over and over. B)Everyone loves Boy George's voice. I promise you, his tin can will be full in 1 hour. GUARANTEED.
3. Run DMC 'Christmas in Hollis'
Put this song on repeat, give me all your presents and I will have all those motherfuckers wrapped in an hour. They will look like shit, but I will have them wrapped because this song gets me in the Christmas mood. 'My name is Jared with the mic in my hand, and I'm chillin and coolin' just like a snowman...so open your eyes, lend me a ear, I wanna say MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEEAAAAAR!' Word to your mutha.
2.WHAM! 'Last Christmas'
SYNTHESIZER. WHAM!. CHRISTMAS. This is what it is all about. But quickly.....GLEE I hate you for doing this song last night. Stop messing with the untouchable shit and this falls under that catergory for me. But I will thank you because it makes me know how friggin awesome the original is. Ya this song is kind of a bummer, I mean, what cold hearted person takes someone's heart and then up and leaves the next day! That shit is whack. You couldve have broke it off before WHAM! gave you their love. I mean, maybe call it off in like October around Halloween or something. At least its a funny story to tell someone. Ya, we broke up, he was in his Speed Racer costume when he did it, I was wearing my Wookie costume. But overall, the song is tremendous. Makes you want to hug someone. Play tummy sticks. Motorboat.
1. Bruce Springsteen 'Merry Christmas Baby'
I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY! I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY! I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY............BEST SONG. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. HANDS DOWN!!
If you knew me, you knew this was atop the list. From beginning to end, Bruce is just making sexy time with this song. You can play this song in July and I will get all fired for Christmas. This song kicks so much ass, it is not even fair. Bruce takes Christmas by the balls and just says LET'S DRINK SOME EGGNOG! I want this song to be played at my wedding just for the hell of it. Just an incredible song that does not get enough airtime in my book. I bet the 3 people who read this blog didn't even know this song was around. Well it does, you know it now and you will forever be thankful that I told you about it. Play it the day you wake up on Christmas morning while your wife is still sleeping, stand over them in your just boxers with the most expensive gift you got them and let the magic happen.
Merry Christmas everybody. I hope everyone gets what they truly want for Christmas, but more importantly are with the ones that make them the happiest. Merry Christmas!
