The holidays are over. THANK THE LORD! And praise Jesus I have today off. So what a better way to spend my day off then sitting around in my underwear and writing a blog. So for your entertainment at work....my post Holiday blog.
SPEED ROUND. READY. GO.
I have decided I do not like New Year's Eve. I don't know why, I just don't. I enjoy the drinking and sociailizing part, I just don't like the countdown part. It is super awkward being 1 of 3 people at a party not with a date or significant other as people countdown the final 15 secs of the year. I am not saying I was kicking rocks in the corner and singing 'All by Myself', but just watching everyone hug and kiss each other is kind of awkward. And let me tell you, I handle awkwardness really well....I am the guy who interrupts every couples midnight kiss by grabbing the guy's ass, yes I said guy. I used to be the kid at the school dance who would never ask a girl to slow dance with him because I was too busy singing Shai 'If I Ever Fall in Love' to all the other people as they danced...I should probably stop doing that huh.
SPEED ROUND. READY. GO.
I have decided I do not like New Year's Eve. I don't know why, I just don't. I enjoy the drinking and sociailizing part, I just don't like the countdown part. It is super awkward being 1 of 3 people at a party not with a date or significant other as people countdown the final 15 secs of the year. I am not saying I was kicking rocks in the corner and singing 'All by Myself', but just watching everyone hug and kiss each other is kind of awkward. And let me tell you, I handle awkwardness really well....I am the guy who interrupts every couples midnight kiss by grabbing the guy's ass, yes I said guy. I used to be the kid at the school dance who would never ask a girl to slow dance with him because I was too busy singing Shai 'If I Ever Fall in Love' to all the other people as they danced...I should probably stop doing that huh.
Chugging champagne and having it shoot out of your nose is not a cool party trick, I don't care what anyone tells you, trust me.
I drank Coors Light all day yesterday. I hate Coors Light. I only drank it because Hooters had a special on it to win Celtics tickets. I didn't win. I hate Coors Light even more. But my real reason for hating Coors Light is the stupid mountains turning blue. I can't even begin to tell you how much it annoys me. I like to tell if something is cold by using my sense of touch. Have we become that lazy where when we open our fridge we only have to look at the bottle instead of reaching and touching it. I don't know why, but it just drives me crazy. They are not really thinking about the blind now are they. To quote Stephanie Tanner: "HOW RUDE!"
I drank Coors Light all day yesterday. I hate Coors Light. I only drank it because Hooters had a special on it to win Celtics tickets. I didn't win. I hate Coors Light even more. But my real reason for hating Coors Light is the stupid mountains turning blue. I can't even begin to tell you how much it annoys me. I like to tell if something is cold by using my sense of touch. Have we become that lazy where when we open our fridge we only have to look at the bottle instead of reaching and touching it. I don't know why, but it just drives me crazy. They are not really thinking about the blind now are they. To quote Stephanie Tanner: "HOW RUDE!"
Scenario: Men's bathroom. 3 Urinals. All open. I will tell you which one I am not choosing, the middle one. I went to use the lavatory a couple times yesterday and at least 2 times, I walked into a man by himself, using the middle urinal with the 2 flanking him, wide open. Now he could have easily had no choice but to use the middle because when he walked in that was the only one open, but I don't know that. To me it looks like he enjoys having men on either side of him. I will use the stall, thank you very much.
I just had 2 cups of coffee in 15 mins. I am going bananas. In between each thought, I am getting up, cleaning something, sitting back down, typing, cleaning, typing, cleaning, typing, cleaning, typing.....I feel like the lady from Something About Mary who took the speed pills and was lifting up the couch as she vaccuumed.....I am going bananas.
I have started to use word 'bananas' alot lately. I don't know why, I just think it is a great word to use when describing something....plus it is a fun word to say...BANANAS.
INTERLUDE BREAK. GO STRETCH. GRAB A COFFEE. BATHROOM BREAK. YOU GOT 2:26
I bought the new Michael Jackson CD on a whim a couple weeks ago. I have had a chance to listen to the whole thing and my review is this........I only like 1 song on the whole CD. GASP! I know. I am not happy about it either. I refuse to bad mouth Mike, so I will stop at that. Not his best work. Sucks he won't be able to redeem himself.
Tell ya what, looking for a new job is not fun, it should be exciting, but it is not at all. My eyes start to bleed sifting through all the job descriptions. And all the jobs are so vague. I don't want to hear about the job. Tell me what you want me to do day in and day out, how much time will I have to go on FACEBOOK and AIM? how long is my lunch break? do we have snowdays? is Xeroxing my ass at the Christmas party frowned upon? What is the guy to girl ratio in the office? How many times do you get drinks after work? Do you have season tickets any of the Boston sports teams and how do I get my hands on them? Basically tell me everything except the job itself. Thank you.
Have you ever cleaned your apartment forever and then go...'This place looks like shit still"....I just did.
I can't believe how easy it is to just walk into a hospital until I had to go the other day. No one at the front desk, no security checkpoint, nothing. Just waltzed right in. And it was a Children's Hospital! Thank God I am not crazy, but Jesus, the mall has about 5-10 Mall Cops on those Segways cruising around to make sure no one steals anything from Macy's or sticks up JB Scoops, but the hospital doesn't have a security checkpoint! At least put a scarecrow up or something. A little effort.
On that note, I felt a little creepy peeking into every room until I saw a face I recognized or heard a voice that sounded familiar. I have a beard and wear my hat low, not the most welcoming face you want to see peeking into your child's hospital room. My apologies to those parents, I am harmless. I was playing with a frog that lights up and sings within the next 5 mins and loving every minute of it.
I did trim my beard because every time I took a sip out of a can or bottle, my upper lip hair would go in my mouth and that was an odd feeling. Apparently, it is okay to trim your upper lip when you have a beard, but it is not okay to shave your neck? You need to have it flow into your beard apparently? So many rules to having a beard. Whodathunkit?
I kind of want to DJ. I don't know why. I need extra money and I think I could handle being a DJ. But I definately wouldn't have a DJ name. I would just be Jared. I am not cool enough to have a DJ name. My main reason to want to DJ is so I can demand dance circles and Soul Train lines from the DJ booth. Not enough Soul Train lines happen at bars. I know it is difficult to get one on going, but I think it is possible. Dance circles are fun, but a Soul Train is alot cooler. Anyone can jump in and walk down the line 'raising the roof' or something. Just need the right amount of space and the right song. I suggest this song......2 people can bang butts down the line to this....haha, I just said bang butts.
I kind of want to DJ. I don't know why. I need extra money and I think I could handle being a DJ. But I definately wouldn't have a DJ name. I would just be Jared. I am not cool enough to have a DJ name. My main reason to want to DJ is so I can demand dance circles and Soul Train lines from the DJ booth. Not enough Soul Train lines happen at bars. I know it is difficult to get one on going, but I think it is possible. Dance circles are fun, but a Soul Train is alot cooler. Anyone can jump in and walk down the line 'raising the roof' or something. Just need the right amount of space and the right song. I suggest this song......2 people can bang butts down the line to this....haha, I just said bang butts.
I ran out of thoughts. Plus I need to do laundry. I heard wearing clean underwear is 'IN' for 2011.
