I don't have a great opening, topic sentence to really grasp the attention of the people who read this blog and this blog really has no rhyme or reason, so there is no need I guess. So let's just get right to me spewing my thoughts.
READY. SET..............I burped.
GO!
Earlier this week, I went to grab drinks with a friend at PF Chang's. We got seats at the bar and ordered our drinks, ordered some appetizers as well. No big deal. We exchange some words with the bartender, Joe, nothing out of the ordinary. A few minutes passed, I finished my beer and Joe came back to see if I wanted another one. I say 'yes' and Joe heads to sling me another draft. Pretty routine, right? It was until....5 mins passed and this happened.
Joe comes back with my beer, places it front of me and says...
'You said you wanted another right?'
'Ya I did, thanks'
'Oh ok, I forgot and I just poured it anyways'
'No problem, man. Even if I did say no and you still poured it, I would drink it because I have a problem.'
Joe laughs then says....
'Well, drink up then....the next one is on me.'
I awkwardly laugh, turn my friend with a look of 'what was that all about?'
At first I thought it was nothing but him being a good bartender and rewarding me for making him laugh...I think. It wasn't until my friend, who is much more attractive looking ordered a drink and we saw Joe go to the computer and ring it in. Then we waited for the bill and sure enough, he charged all the drinks except 1. Mine. Ummmmm. Did Joe just buy me a drink because I made an average joke? Does Joe buy people drinks all the time to make an extra buck here and there? Or.........is Joe gay?? He doesn't fit the profile. He was not on my gaydar when I walked in. If he is, that is totally fine and I have no problem with that, but I have never been involved in that dynamic. To be honest, I don't blame him for buying me a drink. I look like Michael J Fox if he was bald, had a beard and wasn't an actor. Ha. I mean, every guy wonders if a gay guy finds him attractive.....right?.........right? I'm joking. Was that a Seinfeld episode? It must be the beard. A bearded friend of mine told me this would happen. He told me now that I have a beard people will start treating me different, be a lot nicer to me. I guess.
Jim Carrey on SNL is fucking awesome. Thank God, I live in an old people home because no one can hear me laughing and snorting.
Face it, there are ugly babies. But you know what sucks, you can't tell the parents their baby is ugly. But you know what, I can yell and scream at the parents that they have an ugly baby when I am sitting on my couch, logged onto Facebook. YOU HAVE AN UGLY BABY! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR UGLY BABY! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP POSTING PICTURES OF YOUR UGLY BABY! I am going to hell.....hopefully there are no ugly babies down there.
I realized that when I am cooking anything in my kitchen and playing my IPOD, I automatically put on 'Valerie' by Amy Winehouse and I have no idea why. I also secretly hope they have hidden security cameras in my apartment because I am very curious to see what I look like when I am dancing like James Brown holding a spatula and wearing one oven mitt.
Have I mentioned that Jim Carrey on SNL is really fucking awesome! Jesus H.
What is it about doing that laundry that makes me not want to do laundry? I definately have no more clean underwear right now, but going back and forth from my apartment to the laundry room downstairs makes me rather recycle underwear with no skid marks and baby powder the shit out my lower region instead. I guess thats what you call being lazy.
Or you can call being lazy, never leaving your apartment and ordering Dominos online, like I did today. Is that sort of loser-ish? Yes. Do I care? Not at all. I think it is completely acceptable to do that when playoff football is on, just as long as you plan on having a Sunday Funday to make up for choosing to hang in all day on a Saturday.
Has anyone ordered Dominos online lately? It is fucking fantastic. It took me 45 mins to finalize my order because I just so infatuated with watching the different toppings I chose go on the fake pizza. I wonder what a pizza with bbq sauce, ham, anchovies, banana peppers, bacon, pineapple, and hot sauce would look like.......HOLY SHIT! JUST LIKE THAT HUH!....But after you place your order online you can track it! What an amazing concept and I will be fat in 3 months now because of it.
The most annoying part of the Jersey Shore premiere was watching all those assholes driving around in BMWs and Range Rovers. What the fuck right? I almost threw my TV out the window when I saw that. Just thinking about it, gets me all fired up. I need to calm down. This will help...
So the other day at work, I was in Bob's Market in Melrose. It is one of my favorite stores because the people who own it are really nice and like me, except that one time they tried calling the cops on me. Another story for another time. Anyways, a guy who was probably around the age of 55 walked in and wanted a drink. He started at one end of the cooler and proceeded to pace back and forth for about 10 mins. I watched and watched and watched. I guessed he was going to settle for a water and be boring but he went for a total sleeper..............a friggin juice box! I didn't even know they had single juice boxes for sale! I always thought you had to be a 6pk of juice boxes. I can't begin to tell you how much respect I had for this guy. Buying a drink can be really difficult because you know you are thirsty but you don't want to screw it up and settle. This guy surveyed the situation, he picked up bottles, he read the labels, he took his time and to come up with a juicebox is mind blowing. I think I mouthed the words 'HAVE MERCY' when I saw this. Sorry, this is my life and this is what excites me.
For whatever reason, I have lost my ability to sleep in on the weekends. I used to be the king of sleep. I could sleep through a hurricane, a home invasion, or a bowling ball being dropped on my head. However, there is a silver lining to this. And that is....PANCAKES. I wake up at 730 and by 8am I am face first in a stack of 78 pancakes high. I thank my parents for buying me a griddle. How good are pancakes? How good is syrup? Buddy the Elf puts syrup on everything and I think he is on to something. That concept of putting syrup on everything is not too far fetched. I actually think its do-able. And yes, Amy Winehouse 'Valerie' is probably playing as well.
By the way, I think typing the word 'syrup' is the hardest word to type. Try it. Type a sentence and have the word 'syrup' in it. Like "I went to Bickfords to order the Lumberjack but they had run out of syrup." I guarantee your stroke rhythm(HA! I said stroke rhythm, I am not even going to delete that.) will slow down significantly. Or maybe I am just retarded. You tell me.
I need to go out dancing soon. Just saying.
READY. SET..............I burped.
GO!
Earlier this week, I went to grab drinks with a friend at PF Chang's. We got seats at the bar and ordered our drinks, ordered some appetizers as well. No big deal. We exchange some words with the bartender, Joe, nothing out of the ordinary. A few minutes passed, I finished my beer and Joe came back to see if I wanted another one. I say 'yes' and Joe heads to sling me another draft. Pretty routine, right? It was until....5 mins passed and this happened.
Joe comes back with my beer, places it front of me and says...
'You said you wanted another right?'
'Ya I did, thanks'
'Oh ok, I forgot and I just poured it anyways'
'No problem, man. Even if I did say no and you still poured it, I would drink it because I have a problem.'
Joe laughs then says....
'Well, drink up then....the next one is on me.'
I awkwardly laugh, turn my friend with a look of 'what was that all about?'
At first I thought it was nothing but him being a good bartender and rewarding me for making him laugh...I think. It wasn't until my friend, who is much more attractive looking ordered a drink and we saw Joe go to the computer and ring it in. Then we waited for the bill and sure enough, he charged all the drinks except 1. Mine. Ummmmm. Did Joe just buy me a drink because I made an average joke? Does Joe buy people drinks all the time to make an extra buck here and there? Or.........is Joe gay?? He doesn't fit the profile. He was not on my gaydar when I walked in. If he is, that is totally fine and I have no problem with that, but I have never been involved in that dynamic. To be honest, I don't blame him for buying me a drink. I look like Michael J Fox if he was bald, had a beard and wasn't an actor. Ha. I mean, every guy wonders if a gay guy finds him attractive.....right?.........right? I'm joking. Was that a Seinfeld episode? It must be the beard. A bearded friend of mine told me this would happen. He told me now that I have a beard people will start treating me different, be a lot nicer to me. I guess.
Jim Carrey on SNL is fucking awesome. Thank God, I live in an old people home because no one can hear me laughing and snorting.
Face it, there are ugly babies. But you know what sucks, you can't tell the parents their baby is ugly. But you know what, I can yell and scream at the parents that they have an ugly baby when I am sitting on my couch, logged onto Facebook. YOU HAVE AN UGLY BABY! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR UGLY BABY! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP POSTING PICTURES OF YOUR UGLY BABY! I am going to hell.....hopefully there are no ugly babies down there.
I realized that when I am cooking anything in my kitchen and playing my IPOD, I automatically put on 'Valerie' by Amy Winehouse and I have no idea why. I also secretly hope they have hidden security cameras in my apartment because I am very curious to see what I look like when I am dancing like James Brown holding a spatula and wearing one oven mitt.
Have I mentioned that Jim Carrey on SNL is really fucking awesome! Jesus H.
What is it about doing that laundry that makes me not want to do laundry? I definately have no more clean underwear right now, but going back and forth from my apartment to the laundry room downstairs makes me rather recycle underwear with no skid marks and baby powder the shit out my lower region instead. I guess thats what you call being lazy.
Or you can call being lazy, never leaving your apartment and ordering Dominos online, like I did today. Is that sort of loser-ish? Yes. Do I care? Not at all. I think it is completely acceptable to do that when playoff football is on, just as long as you plan on having a Sunday Funday to make up for choosing to hang in all day on a Saturday.
Has anyone ordered Dominos online lately? It is fucking fantastic. It took me 45 mins to finalize my order because I just so infatuated with watching the different toppings I chose go on the fake pizza. I wonder what a pizza with bbq sauce, ham, anchovies, banana peppers, bacon, pineapple, and hot sauce would look like.......HOLY SHIT! JUST LIKE THAT HUH!....But after you place your order online you can track it! What an amazing concept and I will be fat in 3 months now because of it.
The most annoying part of the Jersey Shore premiere was watching all those assholes driving around in BMWs and Range Rovers. What the fuck right? I almost threw my TV out the window when I saw that. Just thinking about it, gets me all fired up. I need to calm down. This will help...
So the other day at work, I was in Bob's Market in Melrose. It is one of my favorite stores because the people who own it are really nice and like me, except that one time they tried calling the cops on me. Another story for another time. Anyways, a guy who was probably around the age of 55 walked in and wanted a drink. He started at one end of the cooler and proceeded to pace back and forth for about 10 mins. I watched and watched and watched. I guessed he was going to settle for a water and be boring but he went for a total sleeper..............a friggin juice box! I didn't even know they had single juice boxes for sale! I always thought you had to be a 6pk of juice boxes. I can't begin to tell you how much respect I had for this guy. Buying a drink can be really difficult because you know you are thirsty but you don't want to screw it up and settle. This guy surveyed the situation, he picked up bottles, he read the labels, he took his time and to come up with a juicebox is mind blowing. I think I mouthed the words 'HAVE MERCY' when I saw this. Sorry, this is my life and this is what excites me.
For whatever reason, I have lost my ability to sleep in on the weekends. I used to be the king of sleep. I could sleep through a hurricane, a home invasion, or a bowling ball being dropped on my head. However, there is a silver lining to this. And that is....PANCAKES. I wake up at 730 and by 8am I am face first in a stack of 78 pancakes high. I thank my parents for buying me a griddle. How good are pancakes? How good is syrup? Buddy the Elf puts syrup on everything and I think he is on to something. That concept of putting syrup on everything is not too far fetched. I actually think its do-able. And yes, Amy Winehouse 'Valerie' is probably playing as well.
By the way, I think typing the word 'syrup' is the hardest word to type. Try it. Type a sentence and have the word 'syrup' in it. Like "I went to Bickfords to order the Lumberjack but they had run out of syrup." I guarantee your stroke rhythm(HA! I said stroke rhythm, I am not even going to delete that.) will slow down significantly. Or maybe I am just retarded. You tell me.
I need to go out dancing soon. Just saying.
