The Sing Off Power Rankings.

Alright. I am not sure whether or not to laugh, cry, pound my chest in respect or dry heave when I read a Facebook status that tells the world you 'got the runs'. I don't know about the rest of the Facebook universe, but when I read a status I usually picture that scenario in my head. Don't ask me why, I used to eat Bisquick right out of the box too. So when I read that you 'got the runs' or 'got the runs.....again', I am actually seeing you 'have the runs'. I say I respect the status because you are comfortable enough in telling strangers 'hey, I poop too, just like you.....one nugget at a time'.

Now that I got that off my chest.....

The Sing Off.

I fuckin love the Sing Off, so I figured why not rank the remaining Sing Off contestants because A)I told you, I love the Sing Off and B) Its 4pm in the afternoon on a Tuesday and I can't keep watching ESPN jerk off all over the TV about Favre and his streak....

Power Rankings for The Sing Off. GO!

5. The Backbeats

I like you. I do. You sound great. I even like your KD Lang look-a-like doing the beatboxing for you. I just hated your performance of Loveshack last night. Here you are, killing it with emotional performance after emotional peformance. I got goosebumps.......once........I said once. Now you turn around and pick Loveshack as your 'guilty pleasure' song because you want to have the judges to see you having 'fun'? BUUUULLLLLLSHIIIIIIT. BUUUUULLLLLLSHIIIIIIT. You looked like a middle school play with your goofy looking lead singer guy jumping around like a moron. I hope someone gave him an atomic wedgie backstage. FAIL. Instead of Loveshack, you sing Take On Me. Done and done. You are next to go.

4. On the Rocks.

First of all, way too many dudes. I know its suppose to be an all male group, and that is totally cool with me, but does it have to be like 74 of you. How about like 11? Im just saying. You had me early with the Live your Life by T.I, you never see that shit. You don't have to sing all the time, I liked where you were going.........BUT.................you go and do Pour Some Sugar on Me. Really On the Rocks? Really? You had an entire category of Rock songs to pick and you chose that. First of all, that song and Living on a Prayer need to be retired from the rotation at bars by DJs. They just do. I won't get into that. Back to On the Rocks. Ill be honest, you looked a little fruity singing Def Lepard, and theres nothing wrong with that, but you didn't keep my attention. I was too busy going 'Ew, don't make that face' or 'WHAT THE FUCK!" Better get to work on trying to bang Schrezinger cause your time is about to expire in the next 2 shows.

3. Jerry Lawson and the Talk of the Town

Okay, you are old so I respect you. However....you are old. You can sing. But you can't dance cause you don't have real hips I bet. My point is made when you sang Satisfaction and looked as if we were witnessing the evolution of a boner when Jerry started to move his pelvic region and look at Schrenzinger(yes I know I am not spelling her name wrong) it turned me off. Yes I am the end all be all. Ha. I will admit, you started to lose me when you started to gyrate, but when you dudes sang 'Easy' by the Commodores....pure gold. Sit on the stools, smile and sing your balls off. I would not classify that song as a guilty pleasure but I would give my right leg if could sing falsetto like whats his face did. Yes, if I could sing, I would only want to sing falsetto....thats it. Don't ask me why but it has a little to do with Timberlake, in his NSYNC days, killing the end of 'This I Promise You'.......no, I am not gay......Jerry and the crew, you are my darkhorse because you will get the elderly vote and judging by my apartment building and driving around all day, there are still alot of your kind out there. Amazing.

2. Street Corner Symphony

Big fan of you guys. Big fan. All I ask is for one thing. Can you please lose the 'shooting range' colored glasses? Please? I know the lights are bright, you are from Tennessee and don't have this type of access to these kind of clothes, but for christ sake you can say 'NO I WILL NOT WEAR THOSE CAUSE I LOOK LIKE I AM WEARING BLU BLOCKERS!' With that said, you made me actually like Train 'Soul Sister'. I don't know how, but you did. And because of that, that was all I needed to see. Lose the glasses, let that dude Jeremy keep singing the lead and you can take this shit home, plus I have been to Nashville, its beautiful this time of year.....I will see you in the finals.....

1. Committed

Give me these guys any day of the week. I want these guys to follow me around, at least 20 feet behind me though cause that would just be creepy, and just sing fellas. I just want you to sing whatever the hell song fits the moment but make it soulful. Trying on clothes at a store, how about you sing 'Do Me' by BBD. Filling up my gas tank, how about you sing 'The World's Greatest' by R Kelly. That would be awesome. Make me feel it. It is shit like these guys that make me wish you could be taught to sing. Everyone knows you are either born with the ability to sing, the ability to dance, the ability to sing and dance, or the ability to hate going to school dances so you drink Vodka out of a Sprite bottle in the woods then come to start fights with the guys who are just dancing their faces off the circle..........

Sorry, I blacked out. Committed. Yes. If these guys don't win it, I will quit McDonalds. They have been killing it with every peformance, but somewhere along the line there is going to be a 'Down' by NOTA peformance that is going to grab the country and get them votes. If I had a twitter account, I would tweet that. But I don't, so I blogged it.

COMMITTED WINS.

Feel free to debate. I welcome it.