Fo Shizzle......

Now I am not a big fan of public transportation. If I can drive my car somewhere, I will do it and pay the 25 bucks to park. Dumb, I know, but I kind of like to drive. I also hate being next to strangers and have their armpits 3 inches from my face as they hang onto the bars. I see your armpit hair. Gross. The other night I went to the Celtics game and we chose to take the T into the Garden. This however was a tremendous idea because it turned out to be the single greatest T ride of my life. So many things happened that made me ask myself would I do that?

We hopped on the Red Line at Davis Sq and switched over to the Green Line. It wasn't until we got on the Green Line that shit got weird and shit got awesome. Now I understand its public transportation and you see every possible walk of life come and go. People are going to be drunk, dirty and diseased. But the 3 people that entered the train with a cat in a cage took the cake for "Greatest T Trio with a cat". They could not have been any older than 17-19yrs old. The 2 girls were repulsive and the guy was just happy to hanging out with 2 fatties I think. One girl looked like Darlene from the Roseanne Show, the other just gave up on using soap on her face at some point in her life. When I saw them come onto the train with a cat, I immediately thought.... TERRORIST ATTACK! EVERYONE DOWN! Who brings a fuckin cat onto the T? Not to mention, I saw about 3 people with dogs trying to get onto the train as well throughout the night. Since when was that allowed? I thought you needed to be blind to just walk around with a dog like that. Ya, you have them on the leash, but how do I know you won't just let that thing run wild on the train. You should need to wear a billboard stating your intentions as to why you are bringing a dog, cat, aardvark, lion, or whatever animal on the train.

"My dog is sick, taking him to the vet, I do not own a car"

"Just bought this cat, it will remain in the box, promise"

"This lion is going to eat you, get off the next stop or else"

Its not hard.

Back to the cat, the 2 fatties and the guy. Once I knew a cat cannot be used a bomb I was able to relax and just ride the train. That was until the dude and 1 fatty starting making out like the T car transformed into a closet and they were playing 7 Minutes of Heaven. I was waiting for the dude to Wolf Out and rip the back of the girls shirt apart. I actually think they started necking, like 2 swans or something. I have learned that some PDA is alright, but this was not alright. They were fucking necking. How does that feel pleasurable? Rubbing your necks together? Really?

Is that a hickey?

No, me and Juan were necking like crazy last night. He has the softest neck.

Gross. They stopped necking and slurrping each other. Then they spoke. Oh boy, did they ever speak. The girl wanted drugs but her boy didnt have any drugs. So she came up with the brilliant idea of 'I can make them when we get home'. Really? Then it happened. This conversation. Guy kind of talks like Gary Coleman from Different Strokes.

Guy:You are gonna make drugs? Like what you gonna make? Make me some weed.

Girl:You can't make weed, its a plant!

Guy:Sure you can, ill give you some salt, some pepper and some paprika. BOOM! Weed!

Girl:Ill make some cocaine

Guy:If you try to make cocaine, you gonna blow up the motherfuckin house.

Girl:No I won't.

Guy:I guarantee if I gave you flour and sugar, you would blow up the motherfuckin house.

Then they began to neck again. I dry heaved.

Speed Round.

-Figured out today, me and buddy are not a fan of people who wear pajama bottoms out in public. I get it, you live nearby and can walk to this store, but come on, just throw some jeans or shorts on. ya know what, don't even wear pants, go in your undies, much more respect.

-Respect the shit out of people who just buy a roll of TP. It says "yup, picture me on the toilet cause thats where I am headed right now"

-I have an extremely tough time putting my clothes away. I don't have that gene, yet I will arrange the shit out of my fridge, but I don't sleep in my fridge.

-I went to McDonalds today after work and the worker said 'have a nice weekend', i replied, 'i will probably be back later'

-I have seen 'I am going to Fat Camp' True Life at least 56 times and it gets better each time.

-Gwentyh Paltrow on GLEE. I dug her.

-I kinda make a mean chicken parm with ziti. Just sayin'

-Cals and I are playing a team in fantasy called Los Tacos. I suggested we go to Taco Bell, get tacos and eat one everytime a guy on our team is involved in a TD. We have Mike Vick. I will have diahrrea.

-The final 15 secs of the UCONN/BAYLOR women's game summed up why no one gets excited over women's sports(except me). Baylor down 1 with 2 timeouts, coach calls back to back timeouts while on DEFENSE. Game ends with 2 airballs.

-Yes, I watch way too much of women's sports. Part of me just likes to watch sports, the other part of me hopes instead of a bench clearing brawl happening, a bench clearing lesbian make out session happens. Pants optional.

-My nephew discovered he has hands. It is hilarious watching him whack himself in the face over and over, even funnier because he doesn't know what the word 'STOP' means when I say it to him.

-Can I pull off wearing a scarf?

-I got excited knowing it was November and I refuse to shave my goatee all winter. It turns red and white. Just in time for the holidays.

RadioFire.

I just cracked open a Pepsi at 10pm. Not a good idea, but you know what is a great idea.....

My latest Top 5 Songs "You tell your friends, 'i kinda like that tune"

The radio has been straight fire over the past 2-3 months. It helps that I discovered the new Hot 97.7, but is on 87.7. It is amazing. I highly suggest wherever you are at 12pm on Tuesdays, you turn it on. It is 'Baby Making Tuesdays'. A full hour of 'let me laaaaay you dooowwnn' and 'Id rather do you after school like my homework'. Friggin brillant stuff. That music and the new jack swing need to make a comeback. Who do I speak to about that? R Kelly?

Back to the task at hand. My Top 5 songs on the radio right now but few will admit to loving.

5. Teenage Dream-Katy Perry

I know. I know. I am already ashamed, but did you not see Glee last night? Ya I know it was kind of gay, well, alot of gay seeing it was an openly gay guy singing to another openly gay guy....but it was fucking good. They were beatboxing alright! They would kill the Beealzebubs(sp?) When is there gonna be another Singing Bee on NBC?! Does that make me gay? Whatever. Lick my balls.

4. Please Don't Go-Mike Posner

This guy sounds like he is in a shower when he is singing half the time, but I like it. Just a good beat, able to get a good drum going on the steering wheel. I kinda wish I owned a synthesizer, sat in my dorm room in college at Assumption and just made beats. Instead I was busy watching Broomhead do 8min abs with no shirt on and making my Chilean roommate prank call girls with last names like Shemansky and ask her if he could "Shemansky his way down her pants tonight." Eh, life's decisions.

3. What's my name?-Rihanna

This chick. This friggin chick. I am not ashamed to admit I know the lyrics to this song. Simple recipe. Dope beat + Drake rapping + Rihanna singing about how she wants to see if some dude can dominate = GOLD. Someone needs to tell Timberlake to get on an album real quick because I am starting become a major fan of Rihanna and I am pretty sure I can't seranade a girl at a bar by singing this song. I mean, I could. But singing "I need a boy to take it over" may give off the wrong impression. Oh Na Na....whats my name......

2. Whip My Hair- Williow Smith

Come on. Seriously. I don't even have to write anything here because you already love this song. If you don't , well you don't have ears.........ya ears. It is a little challenging for me with the whole whipping my hair back n forth, but I will break my neck doing it. In the meantime, I am going to learn this dance. Youtube "Whip My Hair dance on Ellen" Girl is named like Angela or Alyssa. Ill wear the tuto.

1.Only Girl in the World-Rihanna

How can you not roll down the windows and just dance your face off while driving? Try it. You can't just sit there and drive. I dare you. The radio should play this song every 3 songs. Right now, it is like every 6 songs. Make it every 3 songs and the world will be a happier place. When is society going to make it acceptable to just start dancing in public? Why do we need to have a 'school dance' or be in a bar to shake it? I would like to start a public dance movement. You hear a song in your car that gets you moving, stop your car, get out and dance on the roof. Like an instant music video, all fuckin day.

Also receiving votes(I am the only one voting)

Raise your Glass by Pink-Good start to the song until she says 'dilly do' and I immediately go soft

Run Forrest Run!

(I literally looked like this picture, hair and all, for at least 2 weeks)

Make no mistake about it, I am bald. I choose to shave my head because I saw the writing on the wall and didn't think the 'horeshoe' look was really for me in my mid 20s. I shave my head once a week. I do not 'bic' it. I am too afraid I will have an awful reaction and my head look like the face of Charlie 'Crater Face' Coburn from the famous Bayside Cream episode on Saved by the Bell. I use clippers. No blade. Occassionally I will miss a spot on the back of my head or just behind the ears, but never in the 4 years I have been shaving my head has what I am about to say happened to me.

I was too lazy to shave my head yesterday for work Monday so I figured I would let it go because frankly, I have no one to impress at work. It is just me all day and I already like me enough. I completed a FULL work day where I was engaged in about 6-10 conversations. Long enough conversations to where the other person could have noticed something about my head. I get home, take a piss, wash my hands, check myself out in the mirror and to my SURPRISE, I discover 1 LOOONG hair on the top of my head just standing on its own. I mean, just above the forehead, in the middle of my head. Now keep in my mind, I am bald. I have nothing up there, I barely even draw the clippers over the top of my head, but somehow, someway this 1 hair seemed to escape the blades of death. And when I say it was a LONG piece of hair, I mean, it must have been growing for at least 2 weeks. I mean, it was almost curled up like Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley. Just like CHARLIE BROWN! A part of me was proud, the other part of me was like 'HOW MANY PEOPLE SAW THIS AND CARED NOT TO TELL ME! DID THEY THINK IT WAS A GOOD LOOK!? WERE THEY THINKING I WAS TRYING TO GROW MY HAIR OUT ONE BY ONE!? WHO DOES THAT!? WHO DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING! After I calmed down, I just started laughing hysterically before I was overwhelmed with a sense of pride for this one piece of hair. I didn't want to pull him out. I wanted to let him roam, let him grow, let him be free. There he was, all alone on my head, like Neil Armstrong landing on the moon. Let him run like Forrest Gump. It is the little things in life that keep you sane and it was little piece of hair that made my day. Is it a bit sad? I don't think so, I think it is pretty f'n awesome. I have the ability to grow hair on the top of my head, it may be 1 hair every 2 weeks, but I figure by age 90, Ill have hair like George Clooney or Zack Morris. It is the little things in life.

I cannot stop dancing. The past 2 weeks I have been dancing whenever and wherever. I am going to credit my fever for dance to the death of MJ coming up June 25th. I have listened to nothing but MJ all week. Guy is great. I miss him.

I have been absolutely killing my kitchen floor with dance moves. Whoever lives below me must be pissed, but I bet they are saying 'that kid can dance'.

I wish the world we lived in allowed us to break out in choreographed dances from music videos at the most random places. Everyone would be alot happier and the world would be a much cooler place. I can already see me in the 'Love is a Battlefield' dance while I waited in line at the grocery store.

I learned to dance by watching MJ videos and BET. And I am damn proud of it. After this past weekend, I am glad I have the ability to dance with rhythm rather than being able to solve a word problem correctly or understand the stock market. It is really depressing watching people dance that think they can dance. But it is hilarious watching people that can't dance, but know they can't dance cause they just don't give it a shit. I like those people.

I remember my first dance circle. Do you? I was 11. I was in 6th grade. I was at Nite Spot. I had been going to Nite Spot for the last few months but never participated in the dance circle or 'Doing the Butt' because I was too nervous. So each day I would ride the bus home and sit at the front so I could hear the radio. I would ask Kathy the bus driver to put on 94.5 a few stops before my house, that way I could hear the last song playing before I got off the bus. If I liked it, I would run home, slam my bedroom door, lock it, and turn up the radio and dance in front of the mirror. I did this for weeks upon weeks until I taught myself at least 1 move the fifth grade girls would really dig. During that stretch, I taught myself how to body roll(its actually all in the knees) and some move where I kick my legs out, I don't think it has a name. I finally told myself I would enter the dance circle the next Nite Spot, no matter what. Saturday night came and I waited, and waited, and waited for the right song to come on. After hours of standing up against the wall, watching guys impress chicks with their Running Man and such, my song came on....

'Every Little Step' by Bobby Brown. When I tell you my face lit up and I ripped off my Georgetown Hoyas chalkline, you might have thought it was on fire. But in reality, my feet were on fire. I pushed a couple dudes out of the way and I went to work. The crowd went nuts and it was at that moment I knew I was meant for the dance circles. From then on out, I knew I had a gift for a white kid. And after this weekend, watching some guys dance, I am so glad I have rhythm and not the ability to balance a checkbook or be able to ice skate. I can dance and I am going to dance my face off wherever I can on Friday night in honor of Michael Jackson.

Ah Celts in 6 still..........and Bieber "Somebody to Love", I can't get enough of it. I need help.

Its Game 7 and I can't listen to Stu Scott for 3 hours

It's Game 7 of the NBA Finals and I have done the best I can to avoid all sports talk radio, all ESPN pregame and other nonsense about the game tonight. I just feel like it is all pointless and none of it comes true. Game 7s are the most unpredicatable games. And to listen to a bunch of reporters talk about 'stepping up', 'leaving it on the court', and 'no turning back' gets to be pretty boring. So in order to pass the next 3 hours, I figured I would just write about anything.

As a kid with male pattern baldness, I get real annoyed with guy's hair-dos. I say to myself, you have this tremendous gift of hair and thats how you choose to wear it. Thats how I feel when I see Justin Bieber. Now, I like Bieber(its a phase, I swear), but his hair-do makes my head spin. Throw some LA Looks in it or something man, change it up. I hope all his hair falls out soon and he has only pictures of that hair-do to remember his hair. Disgusting.

Celts win tonight. I had to get it out there so I can tell people 'I told you so'.

My dad texted me to come by the house after work because he made a couple sandwiches. And by a 'couple' he meant............18. I know have 13 cold cut sandwiches in my fridge. They will be gone by Tuesday.

I don't like provolone cheese. It tastes funny to me.

I had a guy tell me he tried renting rollerblades. I found that weird. People still 'blade'? You can rent rollerblades?

I need to visit Rollerworld soon. Who is in?

I have never been on skis, skates, or rollerblades. I would be like a newborn calf trying to walk if I were to lace a pair up. I am putting it on my bucket list.

Nate Robinson plays big minutes tonight.

Oreo cookies are slowly creeping up to the #1 spot on my favorite cookie list. Chewy Chips Ahoy are holding it right now, but not by much. I should be writing a Top 20 Cookie list soon.

How good is that Alejandro song by Lady Gaga? Shit.

Someone told me about Hot 97.7 now being Hot 87.7 now. Let me tell you, their Back in the Day Buffet is light years better than 94.5s the last couple days. Just pure early 90s slow jams. H-Town. Shai. Silk. Bobby Brown. I forgot how great a song Tender Roni was. I think I want to be Every Little Step Bobby Brown for halloween just so I can do the dance and wear that outfit. But I have yet to fulfill my dream of being the Karate Kid shower..........one day.

Look out for Lamar Odom tonight. He scares me for whatever reason.

I am making it a mission to learn how to Pop N Lock by Longden's wedding in October. I need a new move for the dance floor. I have realized doing 'The Worm' is the end of the line for me. When I go to that in a dance off like I did 3 weeks ago, I am toast. Need a new move and its coming.

So let me get this straight, there is a new Michael Jackson video game coming out and all you have to do is dance like him. I hope it comes with the glittered outfit from the Rock With Ya video. That is on my Christmas List.

I had an old lady push me out of the way of a door the other day. You really can't yell at her cause she won't hear you and you can't really retaliate because you could kill her. It was a lose lose situation.

It's fuckin Game 7. Celts win by 3. Enjoy the weekend.

And with the recent events and conversations I have had with friends, I need to say this.

'The attitude you bring towards life, determines the attitude life brings towards you.'

We all need to start being nicer to each other and being there for one another. No arguement is too big to say goodbye to a loved one. We only have one life and we can't control the future, only the present. When your feet hit the floor in the morning, be thankful for your health, your family and your friends. Live in the moment. I am not saying live each day like its your last, but live it, thats all. Say how you feel, tell your family you care about them, don't think just do. Go after what you want and have no regrets about it. Happiness truly is the key to life.

Get your popcorn ready...

The NBA Finals are here. I like the NBA. I listen to sports talk radio all day long while I work. I played basketball up until the 10th grade. I led my team to a WBA Finals game when I was 11. I wore Pumps. I own a healthy collection of Air Jordans. I won a 3pt shootout. I shot a 3 for a T in Warrior Country as well. All these things make me feel as if I am more than qualified to write a 2010 NBA Finals prediction blog right?

It does not so I am just going to tell you things that I am going to watch for and hope they come true....

LET ME HEAR IT!!!!!

-How many times Doc says the word 'together' tonight during the timeouts.

-If Celtic goes down, count how long it takes for a Celtic to help him up and then if a Laker goes down. The Cs got back to the RAH RAH TEAM mode once May rolled around and its showed.

-If Rasheed knocks down his 1st shot of each game he seems to let that carry him, if not...heads up.

-Perk Face. Perk Dribble. Perk Get Blocked.

-I cant hate Ron Artest because he wears #37 in honor of MJ for making Thriller stay #1 on the charts for 37 straight weeks. Not to mention he has a rap song called 'Michael Michael Michael, you my N-word'. Kazaa that shit.

-How Phil Jackson decides to handle Rondo. I think Jackson is such a cocky bastard he will just lay off Rondo with Kobe and play 5 on 4. Look for Rondo to attack that and use his floater in the lane, and not settle for the jumpshot.

-KG. Just watch him eat up Gasol, that fuckin llama.

-I love the Celtics bench in this series. They can go another 5 deep, while LA only has Odom and Shannon Brown to really rely on. If Bynum can only go 9-12 mins a game, that will put more pressure on Odom to play major minutes. There is just something about Glen Davis that makes me wanna hug him after every play.

-O/U on Khloe Kardashian being shown each game. I will put it at 2.5. I am gonna take the over, she is pregnant and Lamar takes his time at the free throw line.

-I love the Sheed 3pt basket gesture. Watch for it.

-Nate Robinson after every 3pt shot made by the bench. Dude just breaks down into the robot or something. RESPECT.

-Vujacic and his rat face. He will play at a very weird time and he will look to do something dirty. It will happen this series.

-Kobe vs Pierce. Its the main storyline for me. Kobe is seeking revenge on not only '08 but on Pierce for stealing his Finals MVP. Pierce immediately said he should be mentioned in the same breath as Kobe and Lebron after the '08 Finals. I dont like that he said that because the Black Mamba does not forget that shit. The Celtics need to do what they did to Wade and James, let Kobe get his, but really D up on the others. Its the best supporting cast they have seen these playoffs and its going to make or break the series.

-Doc vs Phil. I still dont know what Phil Jackson does as a coach beside sit there. I can see Doc coaching, I don't really see Phil coaching, just trying his zen bullshit to get the refs to call something in the next game.

-Ray Allen. 18+pts, the Celtics win. Its a lock.

I like the Celtics in 6. They steal Game 1 and ruin Phil Jackson's record of being 47-0 in series after he wins Game 1. Its a stat. I heard it. And it ends tonight.

Celts in 6. Too deep. Too hungry. Too many matchups in their favor.

X Factor-The Bench

Its the Finals and I could not be anymore excited to be witnessing another Lakers/Celtics final. All I really wish for is Bob Costas to do the play by play, NBC to pick up the coverage and for them to play that 90s NBA theme music. LET ME HEAR IT!!!

GOTTA GET BACK IN TIME!

Sooooooooooooooo. I'm back.

Boy has time gone by since my last entry. I fully admit, it has been way too long. But I have made a re-commitment to this blog and hope I can apply myself to keep up with my thoughts and experiences to share with the world. Let's just dive right into this thing and hit you with a potpourri of thoughts.

-I saw a fat kid walking around the Tufts campus last week sporting a short that said 'JUMBO FAN'. I laughed.

-I returned to the gym and saw a dude walk in with 3 gatorades, a water bottle, an empty water bottle with some powder in it. Then proceeded to watch him put down and pick up all 5 bottles every time he changed machines. There has to be an easier way right? How about just 1 bottle, thats just me though.

-My mother goes to HOME GOODS every weekend. I went today and will never be returning. I don't know how she does it because I will assume most of the stuff is the same week to week.

-Who would have thought a simple purchase of a decorative shower curtain, coupled with a pair of hand towels would make my bathroom go from the YMCA to a likeable bathroom.

-If you dont't have any Bieber on your IPOD, you are missing out. I'm just saying.

-Have you seen the newest Ciara video? Do yourself a favor and watch it.

-I have my Windows Player on right now and Ginuwine just came on. What happened to that guy? And why do I have Ginuwine on my playlist? How old is this playlist!

-I have a buddy in barber school call me last week to practice on me. I am bald and he knew that before he called. I did let him use a straight razor blade on my face though, I highly recommend it.

-My brother passed out giving blood last week. This only confirmed he will not be in the delivery room when his first child is born in August.

-I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

-I can finally fulfill my fantasy of being Uncle Jesse now.

-I never realized how difficult it is to try and prepare a meal for yourself every night of the week without it being microwaveable. I like my Hungy Jack dinners and Mama Celestes like the next guy, but I also like living life.

-That reminds me I need an apron and cookbook cause I will become a good cook. I have no choice.

-Cals came over today and we played StreetFighter 4 for PS3. I own the game, Cals never played it. He beat me 17 straight games. RESPECT.

-I went to Whiskey Priest this past weekend. I never had a bigger urge to dance my face off, unfortunately Whiskey Priest has the WORST jukebox ever constructed. Even the employees didn't know how it worked. The place quickly went from a 7 to a 3 in my mind.

-98 Degress is now playing . And I am not changing it.

-I still can't believe that I get to witness another Celtics/Lakers NBA Final. I hope to blog about the matchup before Game 1 on Thursday. I like to think I know my NBA, we will find out.

-I want to get tattoo. I will have one by the end of the summer. But it will not be a chinese symbol or barbed wire, I heard those are no longer cool.

-My new apartment complex is basically a nursing home because I have not seen one person younger than 72, so its quiet. And all the cars parked in the lot are crooked.

-I wish I took up the saxaphone when I was in 7th grade, I think by now I would be really really good.

-I need to start singing karaoke because I sounded really good in the car today.

- I said Lee Dewyze would win Idol, just sucks no one was around to hear it, but I said it.

-Lee Dewyze will vanish faster than Taylor Hicks. Just a prediction.

-I went to GNC to buy some products and the clerk was able to sell me on some protein drink because he was able to gain like 200lbs on his leg press. I don't even know what the leg press looks like but I want to gain 200lbs on my leg press!

-Has the public forgiven Chris Brown yet because I need for him to start performing on live shows soon.

-Hey, Timberlake! Where the fuck is your new album? I can't hear 'YOU ME ME YOU ME YOU YOU ME YOU YOU ME ME YOU YOU ME ME ME ME YOU YOU YOU YOU' anymore.

-I bought a coffee table today. It completely changed my apartment to awesome.

-I wore my MJ shirt out last week to a bar. No one gave a shit because I think they all thought I got it after he died. Not true. Unfortunately there is no way for me to proof this, so the 3 people that know this will be enough.