Excuse me, are those Bugle Boy jeans you're wearing?

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Duh. So I figured a blog before 2011 was in order. But first I would like to give my thoughts on New Year's Eve.

WHY IS NO ONE THROWING A JEAN TUXEDO NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY!!!!!

How did I not think of us before!?? I am such an idiot. Everyone makes a huge stink about getting dressed up for New Year's, ringing in the new year with hope and optimism. I tell ya what, I want to ring in the new year with my stone washed, two toned, jean tuxedo. Just picture everyone in denim, girls wearing denim skirts, dudes wearing Bugle Boy jeans with a matching jacket, sleeves rolled up, drinking Budweiser, maybe even some Osh Kosh B'agoshes overalls could be worn. I apologize for not renting out a bar, making it a Jean Tuxedo party and making this New Year's Eve the greatest night of your entire adult life. Next year. I promise. I will be wearing a Jean Tuxedo to this house party I will be attending and see what kind of reaction I get...its research.

You know what is scary....
Watching your parents get old in front of you. I had this conversation with my Dad today...
Dad-"Did you watch that game where the guy returned an interception for a touchdown?"
Me-"Um, can you be more specific, kind of vague"
Dad-"The bowl game."
Me-"Oh....the bowl game.....this decade? What are you talking about? Did they have team names or were you watching a pick up game at the high school?"

Apparently my mom was given the Senior Discount at Burger King today. Couple things.
-My mom went to Burger King?? No way. She hasn't got fast food since '89.
-BK dishes out Senior Discounts?
-Is an elderly person going for the BK Senior Discount the equivalent to an 18 yr old trying to get into a bar? They must ask to card you to make sure no one is trying pull a fast one when they order that cup of coffee and small fry. I wonder if they have a seperate line with a bouncer. I would pay to watch a 58 yr old lady fumbling through her purse to get her ID, but she knows she is not old enough for the Senior Discount, so she starts to think out loud as she is looking for her ID...
"Where the hell is it?? I just had it a minute ago! Fa-nah-bu-la! Lipstick, credit cards, hard candy....do you take a Work I.D??....You don't? Shit. I look old enough though....right? Can ya let me in this one time?"

This is my new favorite commercial....

Hamburger Helper looks great on the box, but does not taste great in my mouth. Maybe I just can't cook.

I have to walk down 4 flights of stairs every morning at 530am to start my car because I can't sit in my car like Cameron Frye as it defrosts. But today, I was kind of late, so I did the 'skip every other step' as I went back upstairs. Holy shit am I out of shape! No way could I run the required 1 mile time we had to achieve back in gym class if I had to do it tomorrow. I thought I was going to pass out halfway up the steps.......which leads me to this..

Have you ever noticed that alot of EMT employees smoke......alot. Like hey dude or lady, I know you work alot of hours and you are saving people day in and day out, which I totally appreciate, but if you see me passed out and I am not breathing, ya it is weird enough knowing you will be giving me mouth to mouth, but could you not smoke like a chimney. When I finally come to, I don't want the taste of ashtray being the first thing I taste on my new lease on life. I will give ya hug for saving my life, but then I will punch you. Just a quick swig of Listerine will do, you got 15 secs, I won't be going anywhere.

I had a job interview the other day. It lasted 5 mins. I said 'Yes', 'Right' and 'Absolutely' over and over. I don't think I want to work for you if you end the interview with 'Sorry, I am super busy, if you think this went well, just email me."

Play Janet Jackson's "Alright" on your way to work tomorrow and you will have a good day. Promise.

When you are going to your New Year's Eve parties tomorrow, keep this thought in the back of your mind......Be thankful we no longer live in a society that doesn't allow dancing, so tomorrow night, be happy with who you are with, be safe, don't be stupid and most importantly, dance out all of the anger and regret you have from 2010, I know I will. Jean Tuxedo and all. Happy New Year!

Ehh, why don't you just snow me!

I woke up this morning and realized I don't own gloves, a shovel or a winter jacket. How is this possible? I am 30 and lived in Massachusetts my entire life. And I have a mother who would dress me up like Ralphy's little brother, Randy from 'A Christmas Story'. Can I blame Santa for not bringing those items to me 2 days ago or does that not fly? How do I not at least own an old Baracuda jacket, my 1997 State Champion Soccer fleece, a mitten or something?

I also woke up this morning and my toilet was clogged. I don't own a plunger either. Without a shovel to get my car out, I can't go get a plunger to unclog my toilet, without a toilet I can't sit on the throne and watch YouPorn. In my book, this is enough to qualify my life as spiraling out of control. I feel like I am playing Top Gun for Nintendo and I am having one bitch of a time landing the plane. My life is going up in flames all over a plunger and a shovel. I will do what any 30 yr old male would do.....call his Mom.

I have a job interview tomorrow but I also have a pretty impressive beard going on right now. Do I shave and look professional? Do I trim it up and look like the 'Most Interesting in the World'? Or do I say screw it, wear the beard as is and just explain to the people 'hey, this is my first beard of my facial hair career and this thing ain't ready to go.'? It's a Catch 22. Part of me thinks Catch 22 is the completely wrong English term for this situation. Ms Slusarz would be so upset with me right now.

And I am joking, I don't watch YouPorn on the toilet, thats gross. I watch music videos to learn new dance moves.

Here's what I'm burning on 2.....

It is snowing out and it just took me 40 mins to get from Woburn to Wakefield. Thank God, I had those Captain and Cokes to make my drive that much more awesome. The funny thing about snowstorms is that everyone freaks the fuck out yet everyone has lived in Massachusetts for at least 25 years. Why is this news? Why is this big news? Why does it seem like everyone is always unprepared for winter? I just don't get it. I was at the grocery store today at 830am. Granted, it was the first time I have done a food order that was over $70, but you would have thought that Megatron and the Decepticons were coming the way people were running around the grocery store. People were leaving their spots in line to get every last bit of their grocery list. Tell me, is that a bag of flour going to save your life in these 15" of snow?? Didn't think so. I just hope the power doesn't go out because I bought 8 Mama Celeset's and 7 Hungry Man dinners. I need the microwave to work or I may die and I can't yell for help because everyone is building is at least 77 yrs old. Tell my parents I love them.

-I heard the term 'Thundersnow' today. It was a combination of the fact that A)it will be snowing like a motherfucker and B) we may have thunder ....so the weatherman thought he would be clever by saying it will be our first Thundersnow of the year. You can't just start using the term Thundersnow and act like its nothing. I mean, Jesus, Thundersnow! I am pretty sure Thundersnow comes from that the Snow Level in Contra for Nintendo and that was a bitch of a level so for anyone who played Contra when they were kid knows you don't just take the term ThunderSnow lightly. Just say blizzard or nor'easter. Thanks.

-It annoys me that the people who park in the small parking garage at my building decided to place their windshield wipers off their windshield. Do you know what I mean? People do it so their wipers don't get stuck or frozen....but you are under the roof, the snow won't come near your car. Stop. Are you mocking me? To me, I feel like you are making moose ears and sticking your tongue out at me by putting your wipers up. You know you don't have to, but you do it anyways....Stop. I hate you.

-Ok so my Mom claims she didn't buy me skinny jeans for Christmas, but she did buy me a shirt that looks like I was an extra in the movie 'Night at the Roxbury'. I love my mom, but I have a really hard time answering the question 'So do you like that shirt I bought you?' with a straight face. It is like that episode from the Cosby Show where Denise decided to make Theo a shirt but one sleeve was longer than the other. Or when Seinfeld had to wear the pirate shirt.....I am too nice and I have to say I like it, but it will just hang in my closet for the next 5 years. Sorry Mom.

-My mom stopped signing our gifts 'From Santa' this year. I was not happy. I think she gave up on Christmas.

-Do I have to work tomorrow? Can someone find that out for me? I will hate the world if I have to work tomorrow. The world can survive without Red Bull for one day. I am banking on not working because I already polished off a half bottle of Captain Morgans and I still have a Four Loko and 22 beers left. I think I need a hug.

-Tell ya what I don't miss. Parking in South Boston during a snowstorm. I am so happy I don't have to compete with a gnome or a lawn chair when parking my car. I have a spot. It will be plowed for me(I hope).

-I know I'm not gay because 3 other dudes tonight admitted they love Rhianna's new songs. Wait, am I hanging out with gay guys?

-Being stuck in a snowstorm, in an apartment by yourself has to be the equivalent of being in the looney bin. I feel like I am in the hole at a prison, but have been on good behavior so I am allowed a computer and a tv. Got everything but a conjugal visit....

-If another old person burns toast and causes the building's fire alarm to go off, I am not evactuating. I will take my chances and stand on my balcony and jump if need be. Its only 4 floors with snow. We used to jump out of windows 2 floors up in college into snow banks. This is is do-able. Picture your parents are visiting for the night and you have dudes just falling from the sky into the snowbank under your window. I wish I was in that dorm room when I came flying out of nowhere, screaming like a maniac as I fell.

-Speaking of college, during snowstorms, while everyone would go to the bars, Longden and I would go dorm to dorm and steal all the food from people's kitchens while chanting 'We are We are....a bunch of fucking assholes'(in the tune of the P.O.D's song, Youth of a Nation, look it up) We once stole someone's birthday cake. We each had a slice, then got a guilty concious(sp?) and returned the cake to the front door with a note on it........2 slices missing. Ha.

-Do I have to work tomorrow!!

Here's what I'm burning on.....

Ah, Christmas week. At this point in my life, it is just another week to be honest. So in honor of just another week, this will be just another blog entry. Boring and bland I'm sure. Yet again, I have no theme, so let's just get to it. Speed Round. Ready. Go.

-I told you Committed would win the Sing Off(see previous blog entry bitch) Ok, I am done glouting.

-A girl was standing at a T stop the other day and she was eating leftover spaghetti. It was 8am. My brain has still yet to decide how to feel about seeing this. I come from the school of thought that the only acceptable non breakfast food to eat was cold pizza. Right? No? Ok, fine. I'm just that weird then.

-Ok, it is Christmas week so I should at least reveal my 2 worse Christmas gifts I have bought for others. Ok 3 worse gifts.

1. Hunt for Red October VHS tape.
Blow me, I was 10 years old. I had no money. I thought it was a great gift for my dad. I told him to stand outside of the video store while I bought him an awesome new movie. I brought the movie to the counter only to realize I was $2 short. I started to cry. Again, blow me, I was 10 years old. Thankfully, a nice guy was behind me and put up the money for me. For the next couple years, I was convinced Santa was a guy in his mid 40's with a mustache who stood in line at Coconuts helping little kids get their parents VHS movies. Santa turned out to be alot cooler than that.

2. A purple sweater for my Mom from Filene's Basement.

It was your classic Christmas Eve shopping gift. My mom returned it. I don't blame her. I am still trying to get back on her good side for that one I think.

3. A shirtless Arnold Schwarzenegger charcoal sketch for my brother

Fine, I will finally admit this was the worst gift I have ever given. I should have known buying a gift from one of those carts in the middle of the mall would not go over too well. However, it was Arnold during his prime bodybuilding phase. Dude, had pecs and abs for days. To this day, I don't know what made me get it. I was in the mall, saw it, laughed and said to myself 'BEST. GIFT. EVER.' Jay never hung it up. Bullshit. Is that why we never hang out??

-So I currently have a beard. It is my first beard of my facial hair career. And I have to be honest, I kind of feel like Chuck Norris. Ya it gets a little itchy and irritating, but Chuck Norris doesn't itch and neither do I. It's red and it's spectacular. I almost look like a young Kris Kringle. I am not sure how long I can keep this up though before I start looking like Ron Burgundy after he told San Diego to 'fuck itself'. I kind of wish I took a series of photos during my beard's development. But for now, just picture a bald Hacksaw Jim Duggan.(blue speedo to boot when I am walking around my apartment)

-The other day I was told and I quote 'I didn't know you were this bright and intelligent, frankly, I don't know why you are in this line of work'. Really?? What should I be doing then? Should I be building rocket ships? I must look really dumb then.

-Working off that, a girl once told me she was watching Spongebob Squarepants and that the sidekick, Patrick, reminded her of me. Maybe I do look dumb. I need a toupee then. Thats the last time I date a 3rd grader.

-The UConn Women's hoop streak of 89 games in a row without losing is bullshit. Trust me, I watch plenty of women's sports because I have ADD and will watch any sporting event, but this streak is dumb. That is all I really have to say about that.

-Cals asked me the other day what I wanted in my stocking that is hanging at his apartment. He suggested a bicycle. I suggested a rhinocerous. Two very reasonable suggestions I thought.

-So rumor has it my mom bought me skinny jeans for Christmas. Definately a pay back gift for that purple sweater I bought her huh. I think if you wear skinny jeans, you have to wear a chain wallet, Converse sneakers, iron your hair and like the band Big Reel Fish. Apologies to my skinny jean wearing readers.

.....done.

The Sing Off Power Rankings.

Alright. I am not sure whether or not to laugh, cry, pound my chest in respect or dry heave when I read a Facebook status that tells the world you 'got the runs'. I don't know about the rest of the Facebook universe, but when I read a status I usually picture that scenario in my head. Don't ask me why, I used to eat Bisquick right out of the box too. So when I read that you 'got the runs' or 'got the runs.....again', I am actually seeing you 'have the runs'. I say I respect the status because you are comfortable enough in telling strangers 'hey, I poop too, just like you.....one nugget at a time'.

Now that I got that off my chest.....

The Sing Off.

I fuckin love the Sing Off, so I figured why not rank the remaining Sing Off contestants because A)I told you, I love the Sing Off and B) Its 4pm in the afternoon on a Tuesday and I can't keep watching ESPN jerk off all over the TV about Favre and his streak....

Power Rankings for The Sing Off. GO!

5. The Backbeats

I like you. I do. You sound great. I even like your KD Lang look-a-like doing the beatboxing for you. I just hated your performance of Loveshack last night. Here you are, killing it with emotional performance after emotional peformance. I got goosebumps.......once........I said once. Now you turn around and pick Loveshack as your 'guilty pleasure' song because you want to have the judges to see you having 'fun'? BUUUULLLLLLSHIIIIIIT. BUUUUULLLLLLSHIIIIIIT. You looked like a middle school play with your goofy looking lead singer guy jumping around like a moron. I hope someone gave him an atomic wedgie backstage. FAIL. Instead of Loveshack, you sing Take On Me. Done and done. You are next to go.

4. On the Rocks.

First of all, way too many dudes. I know its suppose to be an all male group, and that is totally cool with me, but does it have to be like 74 of you. How about like 11? Im just saying. You had me early with the Live your Life by T.I, you never see that shit. You don't have to sing all the time, I liked where you were going.........BUT.................you go and do Pour Some Sugar on Me. Really On the Rocks? Really? You had an entire category of Rock songs to pick and you chose that. First of all, that song and Living on a Prayer need to be retired from the rotation at bars by DJs. They just do. I won't get into that. Back to On the Rocks. Ill be honest, you looked a little fruity singing Def Lepard, and theres nothing wrong with that, but you didn't keep my attention. I was too busy going 'Ew, don't make that face' or 'WHAT THE FUCK!" Better get to work on trying to bang Schrezinger cause your time is about to expire in the next 2 shows.

3. Jerry Lawson and the Talk of the Town

Okay, you are old so I respect you. However....you are old. You can sing. But you can't dance cause you don't have real hips I bet. My point is made when you sang Satisfaction and looked as if we were witnessing the evolution of a boner when Jerry started to move his pelvic region and look at Schrenzinger(yes I know I am not spelling her name wrong) it turned me off. Yes I am the end all be all. Ha. I will admit, you started to lose me when you started to gyrate, but when you dudes sang 'Easy' by the Commodores....pure gold. Sit on the stools, smile and sing your balls off. I would not classify that song as a guilty pleasure but I would give my right leg if could sing falsetto like whats his face did. Yes, if I could sing, I would only want to sing falsetto....thats it. Don't ask me why but it has a little to do with Timberlake, in his NSYNC days, killing the end of 'This I Promise You'.......no, I am not gay......Jerry and the crew, you are my darkhorse because you will get the elderly vote and judging by my apartment building and driving around all day, there are still alot of your kind out there. Amazing.

2. Street Corner Symphony

Big fan of you guys. Big fan. All I ask is for one thing. Can you please lose the 'shooting range' colored glasses? Please? I know the lights are bright, you are from Tennessee and don't have this type of access to these kind of clothes, but for christ sake you can say 'NO I WILL NOT WEAR THOSE CAUSE I LOOK LIKE I AM WEARING BLU BLOCKERS!' With that said, you made me actually like Train 'Soul Sister'. I don't know how, but you did. And because of that, that was all I needed to see. Lose the glasses, let that dude Jeremy keep singing the lead and you can take this shit home, plus I have been to Nashville, its beautiful this time of year.....I will see you in the finals.....

1. Committed

Give me these guys any day of the week. I want these guys to follow me around, at least 20 feet behind me though cause that would just be creepy, and just sing fellas. I just want you to sing whatever the hell song fits the moment but make it soulful. Trying on clothes at a store, how about you sing 'Do Me' by BBD. Filling up my gas tank, how about you sing 'The World's Greatest' by R Kelly. That would be awesome. Make me feel it. It is shit like these guys that make me wish you could be taught to sing. Everyone knows you are either born with the ability to sing, the ability to dance, the ability to sing and dance, or the ability to hate going to school dances so you drink Vodka out of a Sprite bottle in the woods then come to start fights with the guys who are just dancing their faces off the circle..........

Sorry, I blacked out. Committed. Yes. If these guys don't win it, I will quit McDonalds. They have been killing it with every peformance, but somewhere along the line there is going to be a 'Down' by NOTA peformance that is going to grab the country and get them votes. If I had a twitter account, I would tweet that. But I don't, so I blogged it.

COMMITTED WINS.

Feel free to debate. I welcome it.

My Top 10 Christmas Songs.

Of the 3 people that read this blog, 1 of them told me they would like to see something Christmas themed. So 'tis the season. Here is my Top 10 Christmas Songs. Opinions are encouraged.

10. NKOTB 'FUNKY FUNKY CHRISTMAS'

'Its snowing outside, but we ho ho ho-ing' is an actual lyric in the song. With rhymes like that, I am shocked they didn't crossover into the hip hop market.

9. Bon Jovi 'Baby Please Come Home for Christmas'

First of all, who leaves Jon Bon Jovi??! Second of all, she is missing out on a chance for a 3some with Jovi and Sambora. I am pretty sure Sambora just brings his dual acoustic guitar, sits in the corner and just plays the instrumental to 'WANTED' as Jovi makes sweet sweet love to his woman while just wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. That's my Bon Jovi 3some fantasy.

8.U2 'Baby Please Come Home'

Ya I know its the same title, but U2 gives a big 'FUCK YOU' to Bon Jovi with this song. You don't mess with Bono because he will beat you down everytime. Thats why they are at #8 and Bon Jovi is at #9, staring up at Edge's balls. The song is a little more upbeat and I get the feeling Bono could care less if she came home, thats why the song is only 2:19 in length. Oh song's over already, she still isn't home. NEXT! He already has a chick under his tree waiting to be unwrapped.

7.Bruce Springsteed 'Santa Claus Is Coming to Town'

The Boss makes an early appearance on the countdown, but it won't be his last. Anytime you have a piano involved, I am hooked. I played this song on repeat when my parents bought the 'A Very Special Christmas' CD back in '87 or whenever it was. Bruce just threw his own stank on this song and nailed it. I will be playing this on repeat once again this Christmas, but this time I will be dancing with my nephew.

6.Boyz II Men 'Silent Night'

Light a candle. Light the tree. Grab some lube. Boyz II Men are about to take you into a whole other world. Maybe this song should be a little higher on my list because it is all acapella and I am a huge fan of the Sing Off on NBC, but I was not comfortable with that move. But seriously, you can't go wrong with these guys. You can be in the biggest fit of rage you have ever been in, in your entire life, and I swear if someone starts to play this song, you will immediately start hugging dudes, kissing babies and opening doors for old people. Very soothing. They should just pipe this song throughout every mall during this time of year, alot less grumpy shoppers. However I do think its bullshit they cut out the dude who sings bass. It's just not the same without him, kind of like when BSB cut out Kevin and his spanish looking mustache.

5. Mariah Carey 'All I Want for Christmas'

1994. 14 years old. My first boner.....I think. This song just crushes any other song she has every come out with......okay maybe not DreamLover because I love that video. I always wanted to be one of the black guys doing the 'tootsie roll' and dry humping the ground. I was a weird kid alright. Back to the Christmas song...as soon as you hear that Fisher Price piano playing, you automatically know what song it is and you automatically turn up the radio. I was a fan of the black and white video as opposed to the original video, but thats just me. I like a girl in boots. I know people would like this song higher, maybe at 1, but I make the rules here.

4. Band Aid 'Do they know its Christmas'

If I left this song off I don't deserve presents this Christmas. A song about hope, a song about peace, a song with Boy George and George Michael singing back to back verses. PURE GOLD. Give me 15-20 male artists in the 80s with the greatest collection of hair in one recording studio and you have a hit .....and probably alot of man juice on the microphones after....but still. Instead of giving the bell for the Salvation Army people to ring outside the mall, give them this song on a CD and a boombox. Yes, a boombox. A)Its not annoying where you want to punch the poor guy for ringing the bell over and over and over and over. B)Everyone loves Boy George's voice. I promise you, his tin can will be full in 1 hour. GUARANTEED.

3. Run DMC 'Christmas in Hollis'

Put this song on repeat, give me all your presents and I will have all those motherfuckers wrapped in an hour. They will look like shit, but I will have them wrapped because this song gets me in the Christmas mood. 'My name is Jared with the mic in my hand, and I'm chillin and coolin' just like a snowman...so open your eyes, lend me a ear, I wanna say MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEEAAAAAR!' Word to your mutha.

2.WHAM! 'Last Christmas'

SYNTHESIZER. WHAM!. CHRISTMAS. This is what it is all about. But quickly.....GLEE I hate you for doing this song last night. Stop messing with the untouchable shit and this falls under that catergory for me. But I will thank you because it makes me know how friggin awesome the original is. Ya this song is kind of a bummer, I mean, what cold hearted person takes someone's heart and then up and leaves the next day! That shit is whack. You couldve have broke it off before WHAM! gave you their love. I mean, maybe call it off in like October around Halloween or something. At least its a funny story to tell someone. Ya, we broke up, he was in his Speed Racer costume when he did it, I was wearing my Wookie costume. But overall, the song is tremendous. Makes you want to hug someone. Play tummy sticks. Motorboat.

1. Bruce Springsteen 'Merry Christmas Baby'

I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY! I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY! I JUST CAME HERE TO SAY............BEST SONG. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. HANDS DOWN!!

If you knew me, you knew this was atop the list. From beginning to end, Bruce is just making sexy time with this song. You can play this song in July and I will get all fired for Christmas. This song kicks so much ass, it is not even fair. Bruce takes Christmas by the balls and just says LET'S DRINK SOME EGGNOG! I want this song to be played at my wedding just for the hell of it. Just an incredible song that does not get enough airtime in my book. I bet the 3 people who read this blog didn't even know this song was around. Well it does, you know it now and you will forever be thankful that I told you about it. Play it the day you wake up on Christmas morning while your wife is still sleeping, stand over them in your just boxers with the most expensive gift you got them and let the magic happen.

Merry Christmas everybody. I hope everyone gets what they truly want for Christmas, but more importantly are with the ones that make them the happiest. Merry Christmas!

Stu Scott has a wandering eye and I have a wandering mind...

To keep myself from going insane before the Pats/Jets Monday night game, I figured I would write another blog no one reads. I just can't sit in front of my tv any longer and hear Stu Scott tell me that Mark Sanchez needs to play well tonight for the Jets to win and same goes for the Patriots defense. So let me get this straight Stu and all of ESPN...

If the Jets score, they win BUT...

if the Patriots keep the Jets from scoring, they win?? MIND EXPLOSION!

Over the weekend, I got a few people tell me they actually read my blog. First I told them that they need to get a girlfriend because no one should have time to read my boring blog, then I told them I need a girlfriend because I shouldn't have this much time during the day to be thinking about my blog. Anyways, I appreciate the feedback. I will continue to blog about absolutely nothing.

Like I said before, I lack the ability to focus on one thing so I will just keep up with my quick thoughts, kind of like the comedian Steven Wright but not as funny.

Ready. GO.

I bought the Michael Jackson The Experience dance game. I don't own the Wii. However, I do carry it with me in case the house I am at has the Wii. I wish it came out before Halloween because I definately would have dressed up as MJ and went trick or dancing.

Are the Patriots on tonight? They play football on Mondays?

I heard Scott Zolak say on the radio today the following statement...

'Look for Tom Brady to throw to Welker and Branch tonight.' NO JOKE. Thanks Zolak, I thought he would try and look for Vincent Brisby and Hart Lee Dykes instead. You mean he is going to try and throw to the 2 starting wide receivers.

I had an interview for a promotion at work on Friday. It took 2 hours. When I was done, I was ready to ask for a happy ending. Thankfully, the last song I heard before I entered my interview was 'Firework' by Katy Perry. Everytime I was told 'that was a really good answer', I sang the chorus in my head. 'BABY YOU'RE A FIRREEEEEWORK!!'...Just another reason as to why we should be allowed to play music during certain times throughout the day. Sometimes music makes the moment more than it really is. Kind of like the volleyball scene from TopGun. Watch that scene on mute, then watch that scene with the volume and try to tell me that 'Playin with the Boys' doesn't make that scene. EPIC. And that totally makes zero sense to my original point, I just wanted to think about Tom Cruise on the beach in jeans.

I have realized that I let everyone know that I like alot of songs I shouldn't like as a heterosexual male....for instance 'Firework' by Katy Perry. So I would like to take this moment to say that I like boobs and big butts. Girls are fantastic.....but seriously, Firework is one of hell of an inspirational song. Makes me feel like I have long flowing hair, pecs, triceps, and can do anything I put my mind to......like walk through a petting zoo without peeing my pants.

I just made the mistake of clicking on 'PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW' on Facebook. I think the page is still loading......it made me wonder why am I not friends with all these people on Facebook??? I know them all! Did I do something to every single of them? Am I going to explode into a cloud of dust because this many people I know are not Facebook friends with me? Am I a bad person for not friending them? I am going to have to update my Christmas list. This is absurd.

Every single one of the Cigarette sales reps are women, really hot women. But I bet they smoke or dip, so that makes them instantly unattractive to me. Just sayin'.

Did anyone see Ben Rothelisberger's broken nose last night? The thing was pointing at his ear. What is worse than a broken nose? Like what would you not want to break? I am going to go with dislocated knee cap or elbow. And don't say penis.....grow up.

There needs to be more theme house parties. I went to an Ugly Xmas sweater party over the weekend. It was hilarious. I suggest we have a Jean Tuxedo party in like Febuary. Who wants to host it!? I call stonewash!

I have realized 2 things about my building. It smells great around 430pm because all the people in here are 78+ yrs old and eat dinner super early. Sunday mornings my hallway smells like eggbeaters and bacon because old people love their Sunday breakfast. And I love the smell of bacon, it works out well.

I see Bill Guerin retired from the NHL today. I have a Bill Guerin story. Everyone has a Bill Guerin story right? You don't? LOSERS.

It was my freshman year of college. I was in my Intro to Church class at Assumption. My professor was Sister Ellen Guerin aka the Dean of Students. She asked for all of us to write our name, where we were from and one question we had about the Church. It could be anything. Kids asked is there really wine in that goblet to do you believe in Heaven or Hell? I, of course, asked are you related to Bill Guerin, the current NHL player? Come to find out, it was her nephew! And here I am thinking I was being funny. EGG ON MY FACE!

Look, a bird.....what time is it? I'm hungry? Did you say something?

Because I do not have one specific thing to write about, I figured I will just go all potpourri on your asses.

I am not a real big fan of Thanksgiving. I am not really as to why, I just don't feel it like it I used to. Maybe its because I have to work the next day or maybe its because I don't eat like everyone else. My eating habits are atrocious. I will literally make a plate of food, eat half of it, let it sit for an hour and nap, eat more of it, let it sit, and then finish the rest of the plate. Then I get pissed at everyone who had like fifths and I only had one plate of food. My mind knows it is only 1 meal, but my stomach treats it like 3. I can devour McDonald's in one sitting, but a tremendous home cooked meal like a turkey dinner will take me the entire Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy block to finish. Something needs to change. I guess I am just a guy who likes St Patricks Day where all you do is drink. I like beer...alot lately.

Everyone once in awhile something will blow my mind. And when something blows my mind, my general reaction is 'COOL'. But when something REALLY REALLY blows my mind, I can't stop thinking about it and I want to know how that person can do that! Well, when I was on the T a couple weeks ago, before the 2 people were necking in front of me, I was on the red line. A girl walked onto the T, fresh out of work, and sat down directly across from me. After I played the 'would ya? how many beers?' in my head, I put my head down because I hate making eye contact by accident with people. SO AWKWARD! I picked my head up and watch the girl pull her compact mirror out and start to check herself out. She then pulled out that pencil thingy to draw on her face. I was hoping she was going to draw whiskers, but instead she pulled her eyelid down and started drawing under her eye. Then the T started to move and she kept drawing right near her eye ball. Then the T picked up speed, and so did she! Then the T ride started to get bumpy and she just kept that pointy pencil right by her eyeballs! I was cringing. I felt like I was watching an scene in one of the SAW movies. You know what is going to happen, but you hope it doesn't happen, but you keep watching even though you hate blood and will faint at the sight of it. I kept pulling my buddy's pant leg to make sure he saw what I was seeing. I was just waiting for the T to hit the right bump, the girl's hand to slip and have this pencil just go directly into one of her eyeballs. Needless to say, this girl applied make-up the entire 15 min T ride. She never missed a spot, mismarked herself, didn't hit a major artery or anything. And she did it all with this tiny little compact mirror. It blew my mind. Girls are amazing. RESPECT.

I was at Jillian's in Worcester on Saturday. NSYNC's 'ITS GONNA BE ME' came on. My first thought was 'FUCK YA!', my second thought was 'I totally know this entire dance, FUCK YA!'

At work last week, I had my back turned to a conversation because I was actually doing something at work for once. I heard a lady ask another lady this question....

"May I smell it?'

What an amazing question to hear without actually knowing what the object in question is, right? May I smell it? HA! For once, every gross thought you ever had is actually okay to have. It could be anything! I found out what it I was, but I am not telling.

I have a job interview at the end of the week for a promotion. I am interviewing for 2 reasons.

1) I like money

2) I want a job where wearing a belt is not optional. It is mandatory. I can't tell you how many mornings I wake up, get dressed, walk outside and realize I forgot my belt. I could easily walk back up to my place and get a belt, but currently I don't think having a belt on is that important. I am by myself all day, dealing with people who look just as gross as me with their open toed sandals, long toe nails, and half buttoned shirts. They basically look like that math teacher everyone had in high school who somehow managed to get chalk all over himself but didn't give 2 shits about it. I can simply untuck my shirt or keep my jacket on so my lack of a belt can go unnoticed. But in all seriousness, how much less do you think of a person in a professional setting if they are not wearing a belt with their shirt tucked in? The belt makes everything. It takes that person from either being on the varsity or not even getting on the bus. You just look like an asshole and if I get this job, I will put on a belt each morning with pride. I LOVE BELT!

Pants are optional at my place though. I never wear pants while I am in my apartment. I do it so much that I almost forgot to put pants on to go to Dunkin Donuts on Sunday. I put sneakers on, took two steps in the hallway and realized I forgot my pants.....for reals. I was going through the drive thru though, I might have been okay......maybe?

How awesome are the Holiday Heroes commercials by Radio Shack!?! I highly suggest you YouTube them. HILARIOUS.

I am currently up to 792 times of watching the NKOTBSB American Music Awards performance. Is it me or did the Backstreet Boys just say 'we totally agree that your songs are better than ours, we will hang back here as you guys fuckin' kill it.'? And how could you blame them. Try playing the start of the start of 'Step by Step' and not wanting to immediately move the coffee table out of the way to create a dance floor.

That is all. I wish I had the ability to write about 1 thing but I have the attention span of a monkey. I watch TV in 6 min segments. I sometimes think I am watching 1 show and the CSI unit has solved the most difficult case of a serial killer/rapist/kidnapper/drug lord/pedifile who was only trying to gain the attention of his famous father who just wanted him to become a doctor, but its actually 3 shows that I have been flicking between for the last hour.

Fo Shizzle......

Now I am not a big fan of public transportation. If I can drive my car somewhere, I will do it and pay the 25 bucks to park. Dumb, I know, but I kind of like to drive. I also hate being next to strangers and have their armpits 3 inches from my face as they hang onto the bars. I see your armpit hair. Gross. The other night I went to the Celtics game and we chose to take the T into the Garden. This however was a tremendous idea because it turned out to be the single greatest T ride of my life. So many things happened that made me ask myself would I do that?

We hopped on the Red Line at Davis Sq and switched over to the Green Line. It wasn't until we got on the Green Line that shit got weird and shit got awesome. Now I understand its public transportation and you see every possible walk of life come and go. People are going to be drunk, dirty and diseased. But the 3 people that entered the train with a cat in a cage took the cake for "Greatest T Trio with a cat". They could not have been any older than 17-19yrs old. The 2 girls were repulsive and the guy was just happy to hanging out with 2 fatties I think. One girl looked like Darlene from the Roseanne Show, the other just gave up on using soap on her face at some point in her life. When I saw them come onto the train with a cat, I immediately thought.... TERRORIST ATTACK! EVERYONE DOWN! Who brings a fuckin cat onto the T? Not to mention, I saw about 3 people with dogs trying to get onto the train as well throughout the night. Since when was that allowed? I thought you needed to be blind to just walk around with a dog like that. Ya, you have them on the leash, but how do I know you won't just let that thing run wild on the train. You should need to wear a billboard stating your intentions as to why you are bringing a dog, cat, aardvark, lion, or whatever animal on the train.

"My dog is sick, taking him to the vet, I do not own a car"

"Just bought this cat, it will remain in the box, promise"

"This lion is going to eat you, get off the next stop or else"

Its not hard.

Back to the cat, the 2 fatties and the guy. Once I knew a cat cannot be used a bomb I was able to relax and just ride the train. That was until the dude and 1 fatty starting making out like the T car transformed into a closet and they were playing 7 Minutes of Heaven. I was waiting for the dude to Wolf Out and rip the back of the girls shirt apart. I actually think they started necking, like 2 swans or something. I have learned that some PDA is alright, but this was not alright. They were fucking necking. How does that feel pleasurable? Rubbing your necks together? Really?

Is that a hickey?

No, me and Juan were necking like crazy last night. He has the softest neck.

Gross. They stopped necking and slurrping each other. Then they spoke. Oh boy, did they ever speak. The girl wanted drugs but her boy didnt have any drugs. So she came up with the brilliant idea of 'I can make them when we get home'. Really? Then it happened. This conversation. Guy kind of talks like Gary Coleman from Different Strokes.

Guy:You are gonna make drugs? Like what you gonna make? Make me some weed.

Girl:You can't make weed, its a plant!

Guy:Sure you can, ill give you some salt, some pepper and some paprika. BOOM! Weed!

Girl:Ill make some cocaine

Guy:If you try to make cocaine, you gonna blow up the motherfuckin house.

Girl:No I won't.

Guy:I guarantee if I gave you flour and sugar, you would blow up the motherfuckin house.

Then they began to neck again. I dry heaved.

Speed Round.

-Figured out today, me and buddy are not a fan of people who wear pajama bottoms out in public. I get it, you live nearby and can walk to this store, but come on, just throw some jeans or shorts on. ya know what, don't even wear pants, go in your undies, much more respect.

-Respect the shit out of people who just buy a roll of TP. It says "yup, picture me on the toilet cause thats where I am headed right now"

-I have an extremely tough time putting my clothes away. I don't have that gene, yet I will arrange the shit out of my fridge, but I don't sleep in my fridge.

-I went to McDonalds today after work and the worker said 'have a nice weekend', i replied, 'i will probably be back later'

-I have seen 'I am going to Fat Camp' True Life at least 56 times and it gets better each time.

-Gwentyh Paltrow on GLEE. I dug her.

-I kinda make a mean chicken parm with ziti. Just sayin'

-Cals and I are playing a team in fantasy called Los Tacos. I suggested we go to Taco Bell, get tacos and eat one everytime a guy on our team is involved in a TD. We have Mike Vick. I will have diahrrea.

-The final 15 secs of the UCONN/BAYLOR women's game summed up why no one gets excited over women's sports(except me). Baylor down 1 with 2 timeouts, coach calls back to back timeouts while on DEFENSE. Game ends with 2 airballs.

-Yes, I watch way too much of women's sports. Part of me just likes to watch sports, the other part of me hopes instead of a bench clearing brawl happening, a bench clearing lesbian make out session happens. Pants optional.

-My nephew discovered he has hands. It is hilarious watching him whack himself in the face over and over, even funnier because he doesn't know what the word 'STOP' means when I say it to him.

-Can I pull off wearing a scarf?

-I got excited knowing it was November and I refuse to shave my goatee all winter. It turns red and white. Just in time for the holidays.

RadioFire.

I just cracked open a Pepsi at 10pm. Not a good idea, but you know what is a great idea.....

My latest Top 5 Songs "You tell your friends, 'i kinda like that tune"

The radio has been straight fire over the past 2-3 months. It helps that I discovered the new Hot 97.7, but is on 87.7. It is amazing. I highly suggest wherever you are at 12pm on Tuesdays, you turn it on. It is 'Baby Making Tuesdays'. A full hour of 'let me laaaaay you dooowwnn' and 'Id rather do you after school like my homework'. Friggin brillant stuff. That music and the new jack swing need to make a comeback. Who do I speak to about that? R Kelly?

Back to the task at hand. My Top 5 songs on the radio right now but few will admit to loving.

5. Teenage Dream-Katy Perry

I know. I know. I am already ashamed, but did you not see Glee last night? Ya I know it was kind of gay, well, alot of gay seeing it was an openly gay guy singing to another openly gay guy....but it was fucking good. They were beatboxing alright! They would kill the Beealzebubs(sp?) When is there gonna be another Singing Bee on NBC?! Does that make me gay? Whatever. Lick my balls.

4. Please Don't Go-Mike Posner

This guy sounds like he is in a shower when he is singing half the time, but I like it. Just a good beat, able to get a good drum going on the steering wheel. I kinda wish I owned a synthesizer, sat in my dorm room in college at Assumption and just made beats. Instead I was busy watching Broomhead do 8min abs with no shirt on and making my Chilean roommate prank call girls with last names like Shemansky and ask her if he could "Shemansky his way down her pants tonight." Eh, life's decisions.

3. What's my name?-Rihanna

This chick. This friggin chick. I am not ashamed to admit I know the lyrics to this song. Simple recipe. Dope beat + Drake rapping + Rihanna singing about how she wants to see if some dude can dominate = GOLD. Someone needs to tell Timberlake to get on an album real quick because I am starting become a major fan of Rihanna and I am pretty sure I can't seranade a girl at a bar by singing this song. I mean, I could. But singing "I need a boy to take it over" may give off the wrong impression. Oh Na Na....whats my name......

2. Whip My Hair- Williow Smith

Come on. Seriously. I don't even have to write anything here because you already love this song. If you don't , well you don't have ears.........ya ears. It is a little challenging for me with the whole whipping my hair back n forth, but I will break my neck doing it. In the meantime, I am going to learn this dance. Youtube "Whip My Hair dance on Ellen" Girl is named like Angela or Alyssa. Ill wear the tuto.

1.Only Girl in the World-Rihanna

How can you not roll down the windows and just dance your face off while driving? Try it. You can't just sit there and drive. I dare you. The radio should play this song every 3 songs. Right now, it is like every 6 songs. Make it every 3 songs and the world will be a happier place. When is society going to make it acceptable to just start dancing in public? Why do we need to have a 'school dance' or be in a bar to shake it? I would like to start a public dance movement. You hear a song in your car that gets you moving, stop your car, get out and dance on the roof. Like an instant music video, all fuckin day.

Also receiving votes(I am the only one voting)

Raise your Glass by Pink-Good start to the song until she says 'dilly do' and I immediately go soft

Run Forrest Run!

(I literally looked like this picture, hair and all, for at least 2 weeks)

Make no mistake about it, I am bald. I choose to shave my head because I saw the writing on the wall and didn't think the 'horeshoe' look was really for me in my mid 20s. I shave my head once a week. I do not 'bic' it. I am too afraid I will have an awful reaction and my head look like the face of Charlie 'Crater Face' Coburn from the famous Bayside Cream episode on Saved by the Bell. I use clippers. No blade. Occassionally I will miss a spot on the back of my head or just behind the ears, but never in the 4 years I have been shaving my head has what I am about to say happened to me.

I was too lazy to shave my head yesterday for work Monday so I figured I would let it go because frankly, I have no one to impress at work. It is just me all day and I already like me enough. I completed a FULL work day where I was engaged in about 6-10 conversations. Long enough conversations to where the other person could have noticed something about my head. I get home, take a piss, wash my hands, check myself out in the mirror and to my SURPRISE, I discover 1 LOOONG hair on the top of my head just standing on its own. I mean, just above the forehead, in the middle of my head. Now keep in my mind, I am bald. I have nothing up there, I barely even draw the clippers over the top of my head, but somehow, someway this 1 hair seemed to escape the blades of death. And when I say it was a LONG piece of hair, I mean, it must have been growing for at least 2 weeks. I mean, it was almost curled up like Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley. Just like CHARLIE BROWN! A part of me was proud, the other part of me was like 'HOW MANY PEOPLE SAW THIS AND CARED NOT TO TELL ME! DID THEY THINK IT WAS A GOOD LOOK!? WERE THEY THINKING I WAS TRYING TO GROW MY HAIR OUT ONE BY ONE!? WHO DOES THAT!? WHO DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING! After I calmed down, I just started laughing hysterically before I was overwhelmed with a sense of pride for this one piece of hair. I didn't want to pull him out. I wanted to let him roam, let him grow, let him be free. There he was, all alone on my head, like Neil Armstrong landing on the moon. Let him run like Forrest Gump. It is the little things in life that keep you sane and it was little piece of hair that made my day. Is it a bit sad? I don't think so, I think it is pretty f'n awesome. I have the ability to grow hair on the top of my head, it may be 1 hair every 2 weeks, but I figure by age 90, Ill have hair like George Clooney or Zack Morris. It is the little things in life.

I cannot stop dancing. The past 2 weeks I have been dancing whenever and wherever. I am going to credit my fever for dance to the death of MJ coming up June 25th. I have listened to nothing but MJ all week. Guy is great. I miss him.

I have been absolutely killing my kitchen floor with dance moves. Whoever lives below me must be pissed, but I bet they are saying 'that kid can dance'.

I wish the world we lived in allowed us to break out in choreographed dances from music videos at the most random places. Everyone would be alot happier and the world would be a much cooler place. I can already see me in the 'Love is a Battlefield' dance while I waited in line at the grocery store.

I learned to dance by watching MJ videos and BET. And I am damn proud of it. After this past weekend, I am glad I have the ability to dance with rhythm rather than being able to solve a word problem correctly or understand the stock market. It is really depressing watching people dance that think they can dance. But it is hilarious watching people that can't dance, but know they can't dance cause they just don't give it a shit. I like those people.

I remember my first dance circle. Do you? I was 11. I was in 6th grade. I was at Nite Spot. I had been going to Nite Spot for the last few months but never participated in the dance circle or 'Doing the Butt' because I was too nervous. So each day I would ride the bus home and sit at the front so I could hear the radio. I would ask Kathy the bus driver to put on 94.5 a few stops before my house, that way I could hear the last song playing before I got off the bus. If I liked it, I would run home, slam my bedroom door, lock it, and turn up the radio and dance in front of the mirror. I did this for weeks upon weeks until I taught myself at least 1 move the fifth grade girls would really dig. During that stretch, I taught myself how to body roll(its actually all in the knees) and some move where I kick my legs out, I don't think it has a name. I finally told myself I would enter the dance circle the next Nite Spot, no matter what. Saturday night came and I waited, and waited, and waited for the right song to come on. After hours of standing up against the wall, watching guys impress chicks with their Running Man and such, my song came on....

'Every Little Step' by Bobby Brown. When I tell you my face lit up and I ripped off my Georgetown Hoyas chalkline, you might have thought it was on fire. But in reality, my feet were on fire. I pushed a couple dudes out of the way and I went to work. The crowd went nuts and it was at that moment I knew I was meant for the dance circles. From then on out, I knew I had a gift for a white kid. And after this weekend, watching some guys dance, I am so glad I have rhythm and not the ability to balance a checkbook or be able to ice skate. I can dance and I am going to dance my face off wherever I can on Friday night in honor of Michael Jackson.

Ah Celts in 6 still..........and Bieber "Somebody to Love", I can't get enough of it. I need help.

Its Game 7 and I can't listen to Stu Scott for 3 hours

It's Game 7 of the NBA Finals and I have done the best I can to avoid all sports talk radio, all ESPN pregame and other nonsense about the game tonight. I just feel like it is all pointless and none of it comes true. Game 7s are the most unpredicatable games. And to listen to a bunch of reporters talk about 'stepping up', 'leaving it on the court', and 'no turning back' gets to be pretty boring. So in order to pass the next 3 hours, I figured I would just write about anything.

As a kid with male pattern baldness, I get real annoyed with guy's hair-dos. I say to myself, you have this tremendous gift of hair and thats how you choose to wear it. Thats how I feel when I see Justin Bieber. Now, I like Bieber(its a phase, I swear), but his hair-do makes my head spin. Throw some LA Looks in it or something man, change it up. I hope all his hair falls out soon and he has only pictures of that hair-do to remember his hair. Disgusting.

Celts win tonight. I had to get it out there so I can tell people 'I told you so'.

My dad texted me to come by the house after work because he made a couple sandwiches. And by a 'couple' he meant............18. I know have 13 cold cut sandwiches in my fridge. They will be gone by Tuesday.

I don't like provolone cheese. It tastes funny to me.

I had a guy tell me he tried renting rollerblades. I found that weird. People still 'blade'? You can rent rollerblades?

I need to visit Rollerworld soon. Who is in?

I have never been on skis, skates, or rollerblades. I would be like a newborn calf trying to walk if I were to lace a pair up. I am putting it on my bucket list.

Nate Robinson plays big minutes tonight.

Oreo cookies are slowly creeping up to the #1 spot on my favorite cookie list. Chewy Chips Ahoy are holding it right now, but not by much. I should be writing a Top 20 Cookie list soon.

How good is that Alejandro song by Lady Gaga? Shit.

Someone told me about Hot 97.7 now being Hot 87.7 now. Let me tell you, their Back in the Day Buffet is light years better than 94.5s the last couple days. Just pure early 90s slow jams. H-Town. Shai. Silk. Bobby Brown. I forgot how great a song Tender Roni was. I think I want to be Every Little Step Bobby Brown for halloween just so I can do the dance and wear that outfit. But I have yet to fulfill my dream of being the Karate Kid shower..........one day.

Look out for Lamar Odom tonight. He scares me for whatever reason.

I am making it a mission to learn how to Pop N Lock by Longden's wedding in October. I need a new move for the dance floor. I have realized doing 'The Worm' is the end of the line for me. When I go to that in a dance off like I did 3 weeks ago, I am toast. Need a new move and its coming.

So let me get this straight, there is a new Michael Jackson video game coming out and all you have to do is dance like him. I hope it comes with the glittered outfit from the Rock With Ya video. That is on my Christmas List.

I had an old lady push me out of the way of a door the other day. You really can't yell at her cause she won't hear you and you can't really retaliate because you could kill her. It was a lose lose situation.

It's fuckin Game 7. Celts win by 3. Enjoy the weekend.

And with the recent events and conversations I have had with friends, I need to say this.

'The attitude you bring towards life, determines the attitude life brings towards you.'

We all need to start being nicer to each other and being there for one another. No arguement is too big to say goodbye to a loved one. We only have one life and we can't control the future, only the present. When your feet hit the floor in the morning, be thankful for your health, your family and your friends. Live in the moment. I am not saying live each day like its your last, but live it, thats all. Say how you feel, tell your family you care about them, don't think just do. Go after what you want and have no regrets about it. Happiness truly is the key to life.

Get your popcorn ready...

The NBA Finals are here. I like the NBA. I listen to sports talk radio all day long while I work. I played basketball up until the 10th grade. I led my team to a WBA Finals game when I was 11. I wore Pumps. I own a healthy collection of Air Jordans. I won a 3pt shootout. I shot a 3 for a T in Warrior Country as well. All these things make me feel as if I am more than qualified to write a 2010 NBA Finals prediction blog right?

It does not so I am just going to tell you things that I am going to watch for and hope they come true....

LET ME HEAR IT!!!!!

-How many times Doc says the word 'together' tonight during the timeouts.

-If Celtic goes down, count how long it takes for a Celtic to help him up and then if a Laker goes down. The Cs got back to the RAH RAH TEAM mode once May rolled around and its showed.

-If Rasheed knocks down his 1st shot of each game he seems to let that carry him, if not...heads up.

-Perk Face. Perk Dribble. Perk Get Blocked.

-I cant hate Ron Artest because he wears #37 in honor of MJ for making Thriller stay #1 on the charts for 37 straight weeks. Not to mention he has a rap song called 'Michael Michael Michael, you my N-word'. Kazaa that shit.

-How Phil Jackson decides to handle Rondo. I think Jackson is such a cocky bastard he will just lay off Rondo with Kobe and play 5 on 4. Look for Rondo to attack that and use his floater in the lane, and not settle for the jumpshot.

-KG. Just watch him eat up Gasol, that fuckin llama.

-I love the Celtics bench in this series. They can go another 5 deep, while LA only has Odom and Shannon Brown to really rely on. If Bynum can only go 9-12 mins a game, that will put more pressure on Odom to play major minutes. There is just something about Glen Davis that makes me wanna hug him after every play.

-O/U on Khloe Kardashian being shown each game. I will put it at 2.5. I am gonna take the over, she is pregnant and Lamar takes his time at the free throw line.

-I love the Sheed 3pt basket gesture. Watch for it.

-Nate Robinson after every 3pt shot made by the bench. Dude just breaks down into the robot or something. RESPECT.

-Vujacic and his rat face. He will play at a very weird time and he will look to do something dirty. It will happen this series.

-Kobe vs Pierce. Its the main storyline for me. Kobe is seeking revenge on not only '08 but on Pierce for stealing his Finals MVP. Pierce immediately said he should be mentioned in the same breath as Kobe and Lebron after the '08 Finals. I dont like that he said that because the Black Mamba does not forget that shit. The Celtics need to do what they did to Wade and James, let Kobe get his, but really D up on the others. Its the best supporting cast they have seen these playoffs and its going to make or break the series.

-Doc vs Phil. I still dont know what Phil Jackson does as a coach beside sit there. I can see Doc coaching, I don't really see Phil coaching, just trying his zen bullshit to get the refs to call something in the next game.

-Ray Allen. 18+pts, the Celtics win. Its a lock.

I like the Celtics in 6. They steal Game 1 and ruin Phil Jackson's record of being 47-0 in series after he wins Game 1. Its a stat. I heard it. And it ends tonight.

Celts in 6. Too deep. Too hungry. Too many matchups in their favor.

X Factor-The Bench

Its the Finals and I could not be anymore excited to be witnessing another Lakers/Celtics final. All I really wish for is Bob Costas to do the play by play, NBC to pick up the coverage and for them to play that 90s NBA theme music. LET ME HEAR IT!!!

GOTTA GET BACK IN TIME!

Sooooooooooooooo. I'm back.

Boy has time gone by since my last entry. I fully admit, it has been way too long. But I have made a re-commitment to this blog and hope I can apply myself to keep up with my thoughts and experiences to share with the world. Let's just dive right into this thing and hit you with a potpourri of thoughts.

-I saw a fat kid walking around the Tufts campus last week sporting a short that said 'JUMBO FAN'. I laughed.

-I returned to the gym and saw a dude walk in with 3 gatorades, a water bottle, an empty water bottle with some powder in it. Then proceeded to watch him put down and pick up all 5 bottles every time he changed machines. There has to be an easier way right? How about just 1 bottle, thats just me though.

-My mother goes to HOME GOODS every weekend. I went today and will never be returning. I don't know how she does it because I will assume most of the stuff is the same week to week.

-Who would have thought a simple purchase of a decorative shower curtain, coupled with a pair of hand towels would make my bathroom go from the YMCA to a likeable bathroom.

-If you dont't have any Bieber on your IPOD, you are missing out. I'm just saying.

-Have you seen the newest Ciara video? Do yourself a favor and watch it.

-I have my Windows Player on right now and Ginuwine just came on. What happened to that guy? And why do I have Ginuwine on my playlist? How old is this playlist!

-I have a buddy in barber school call me last week to practice on me. I am bald and he knew that before he called. I did let him use a straight razor blade on my face though, I highly recommend it.

-My brother passed out giving blood last week. This only confirmed he will not be in the delivery room when his first child is born in August.

-I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

-I can finally fulfill my fantasy of being Uncle Jesse now.

-I never realized how difficult it is to try and prepare a meal for yourself every night of the week without it being microwaveable. I like my Hungy Jack dinners and Mama Celestes like the next guy, but I also like living life.

-That reminds me I need an apron and cookbook cause I will become a good cook. I have no choice.

-Cals came over today and we played StreetFighter 4 for PS3. I own the game, Cals never played it. He beat me 17 straight games. RESPECT.

-I went to Whiskey Priest this past weekend. I never had a bigger urge to dance my face off, unfortunately Whiskey Priest has the WORST jukebox ever constructed. Even the employees didn't know how it worked. The place quickly went from a 7 to a 3 in my mind.

-98 Degress is now playing . And I am not changing it.

-I still can't believe that I get to witness another Celtics/Lakers NBA Final. I hope to blog about the matchup before Game 1 on Thursday. I like to think I know my NBA, we will find out.

-I want to get tattoo. I will have one by the end of the summer. But it will not be a chinese symbol or barbed wire, I heard those are no longer cool.

-My new apartment complex is basically a nursing home because I have not seen one person younger than 72, so its quiet. And all the cars parked in the lot are crooked.

-I wish I took up the saxaphone when I was in 7th grade, I think by now I would be really really good.

-I need to start singing karaoke because I sounded really good in the car today.

- I said Lee Dewyze would win Idol, just sucks no one was around to hear it, but I said it.

-Lee Dewyze will vanish faster than Taylor Hicks. Just a prediction.

-I went to GNC to buy some products and the clerk was able to sell me on some protein drink because he was able to gain like 200lbs on his leg press. I don't even know what the leg press looks like but I want to gain 200lbs on my leg press!

-Has the public forgiven Chris Brown yet because I need for him to start performing on live shows soon.

-Hey, Timberlake! Where the fuck is your new album? I can't hear 'YOU ME ME YOU ME YOU YOU ME YOU YOU ME ME YOU YOU ME ME ME ME YOU YOU YOU YOU' anymore.

-I bought a coffee table today. It completely changed my apartment to awesome.

-I wore my MJ shirt out last week to a bar. No one gave a shit because I think they all thought I got it after he died. Not true. Unfortunately there is no way for me to proof this, so the 3 people that know this will be enough.